The Escort S2

Part 59: Special favors

Taehyung's POV:

"Lisa, I have no fuckin idea why I did it. Kookie and I had just made love in our little closet love nest. I felt happy and protected in that loving moment. And then I shot downstairs like a goddamn bull seeing nothing but red. It was horrible. I-I'm just so ashamed." For a moment I feel like I'm going to puke recounting yesterday's incident.

"Tae, settle down. So, you fucked up. It's not the first time and it certainly won't be the last," Lisa says firmly. I feel irritation creep over my flesh. If only it was that easy.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better, because it doesn't!" I bite back.

"Tae, I have some thoughts on this if you let me finish." I pull in a slow breath and listen with less reactivity. "I've thought about this more since last night when you called me in a panic."

"Oh, sorry. I'd like to hear more, please." Lisa is one of my best friends and I know that she only has good intentions for me.

"That's better. Okay, so after Jungkook fucked you crazy, you said you had a conversation about security. Not only that, but you also had thoughts of that sick fuck of an ex-boyfriend."

"That's correct. I don't think this is linked."

"I do," Lisa says as irritation swirls in my gut. I've been long done with that asshole, and he can't hurt me anymore. "Tae, you were triggered. That sweet kid Ivory is easy to get feelings for. I get it. I want to find that piece of shit Daesung and run him over 20 times with my vehicle and then choke the shit out of his dead body. I too want to protect him."

"Ivory? But JJ wouldn't do anything harmful to him."

"That's not the point. I believe your response was subconscious." I now listen closely. "Jungkook makes you feel safe, and you feel it's your duty to keep Ivory safe. I think you still have some deep rage around what happened to you." Please don't go there is all I can think of.

"But I don't –"

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but sweetie I think it's time to get some help with that."

"But it –"

"I know it scares you. Don't forget I've been there. Tae, I had to, uh, talk to someone to rid myself of my own demons. "

"Professional help? I don't think I can."

"Bullshit. If you don't, you could lose yourself if you were to encounter a major threat. I remember what happened all those years ago. We both know the darkness." I'm silent for what seems like a minute and Lisa says nothing.

"Okay, I'll give it some thought. But I have Kookie and my safe room. I also have all of my friends."

"Tae, that's not enough. You've got unhealed trauma. You have to dig up that old shit and deal with it so you can finally be free."

"I said I'd think about it!" I snap.

"Fuck, don't kill the messenger," Lisa responds.

"Sorry. I will consider what you suggest. So, how are you and dad?"

"Damn, that was some pivot." Lisa chuckles. "Okay, I did want to share something with you."

"I'm all ears," I say, relieved to switch topics.

"I uh, told Jihoon about some of the powerful clients we have at The Agency. I also told him that I was able to get information and special favors."

"Well, I think it's nice you're trusting him more. That was quite vulnerable of you."

'Shit, I'm just as surprised as you." We both chuckle.