Finding our Dreams are not So Different

Chapter Eight Kurt's Sorry

It has been a couple of days since the "incident" at the Berry's house and Finchel is still not talking to Kurt. Kurt had left the Berry's and took a long walk and a long look at himself and why he thinks it's okay to butt into Finn and Rachel's relationship. What he came up with: He's jealous plain and simple. He was jealous when they got engaged and made it about him. "What about New York and NYADA and me" he remembers telling Rachel when she told him of the engagement. "I told our parents because I think you're making a mistake." He told them in the Choir room the day they told everyone. 'Oh my I'm a terrible brother and friend.' Kurt thought to himself. Why can't I be happy for them? This is exactly what the three had planned all those months ago before the whole Pace/army fiasco. So why is it bothering him?

He doesn't want to share Rachel with Finn. He's jealous. At least when she wasn't with Finn he could pretend to be good without Blaine. He could commiserate with her over their lost loves. But now she's staying here with her love and Kurt has to go back to NYC without his. It's not fair and he's just real jealous.

He has to make it right with his brother and bestie. He has to stop being selfish and start being supportive of them. Rachel was right. She doesn't work without Finn. They're Finchel and will always be Finchel.

Kurt come's down from his room, because he's leaving with Santana in two days and he wants to make it right with Finn and Rachel. They're in the family room snuggled together on the old leather recliner. 'That thing is hideous, why Finn insisted they put it in here is beyond me, but dad gave him that space for his chair.' Kurt thinks as he watches them from the door. She hasn't looked that happy since, since he can't remember. Finn really does make her whole. "You complete each other" Kurt says quietly to them. "What?" they reply. "You two, complete each other. In the whole Jerry McGuire way." Kurt says. "I have no idea what that is, but thanks?' Finn questions. Rachel jumps in "it's a movie reference Finn, it means we make each other whole. Thank you Kurt." "Can I talk to you both?" Kurt queries. Nodding their heads in sync for him to continue.

"First I want to say I'm sorry for the way I acted at your Dad's the other day. I was wrong. It is not my place to tell you what you want or don't want or need." Rachel begins to speak but Kurt holds his hand up and says "wait I'm not done. I also wanted to say I'm sorry that I wasn't as supportive of your engagement as you guys are of mine. I realize now what a hypocrite I have been. I shouldn't have went behind your backs and told our parents either. It was not my place. I guess I've been doing a lot of soul searching these last two days and I've come up with, I am selfish and jealous. I wanted you all to myself Rachel. I wanted you to be just as unhappy as I've been without Blaine and that's selfish, I'm sorry."

Kurt takes a big sigh and continues. "I've always been jealous of your relationship. Even way back when I was dressing you up like a sad clown hooker, and trying to make Finn see that I was the only viable option once he dumped the HBIC Quinn. I knew you really liked Finn and I knew that deep down if Finn ever did break up with Quinn that you would be his only choice. I never wanted to admit that to myself.

I liked when you guys broke up in junior year, because I could have Rachel as my 'hag/bestie' and didn't have to share Finn with her and vice versa. I'm so sorry. I was selfish. When you guys got together at Nationals I was happy for you but deep down I was still jealous. I wanted what you had. Being with Blaine was so new and I was scared he didn't like me like I liked him. I was jealous and I'm sorry.

Then Finn you didn't get into Pace and joined the Army. Instead of discouraging you and telling Rachel I let you put her on that train, knowing what it was doing to both of you. But again I was being selfish and only thought how it was going to affect me and my plans for Rachel and me in NYC. I encouraged you to go with donkey man and even worse I blame it on Finn. In my mind Finn was getting what he deserved and I was getting what I wanted. A real life Barbie I could dress and make over, not sad clown hooker, but bad enough. I took the color out of your wardrobe and in turn it took the color out of your life. I was jealous and selfish and I'm sorry.