Winwolfa (A Roan x Female OC Fanfic)

-Chapter 64-

Roan stalked the perimeter of the disheveled room she called home, "So, this is where you've been for the past two years?"

"Between here and Arkadia." Her voice was soft and scratchy, still getting used to the feeling of working her vocal cords again. Astrid looked down to her bowl, swirling the contents of the soup while she rested along the opening in the wall.

"And you've been alone all this time?" She nodded as he traveled to the wall decorated with runic symbols, identical to the one she made in Arkadia. He looked at it perplexed, "Any leads on the journal?"

She shook her head. Roan sighed, taking opposite of her to look out on the bustling camps below. Beyond that, miles and miles of sand for as far as the eye could see. For two years, he pictured living in that green valley, living in a house she had already built for them. Tossing their old lives of warriors for a life a farmers or hunters. 

After everything she'd endured, Astrid at least deserved that. All the pain and suffering of the clans she bore in just that short amount of time, her mythic past and now this... He hadn't imagined what living on Earth would be like for her. Definitely not as primal and rugged as this.

"Roan..." Astrid thought about confessing the nature of her recent dreams, but quickly shook off the idea. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, Starfire." He pressed a gentle kiss along her forehead. A piece of his heart cracked when the clove smell in her hair had been replaced with sand and grime.

Despite the fact she was sitting beside him, breathing and blinking, he couldn't stop the feeling that this was not the same person he remembered. There was something lacking in her eyes, and she hadn't smiled once since their arrival. And he couldn't decide if it was from those dreams or because of all the time she had spent alone.

"I'm okay." She whispered as she looked into his eyes, "I see the way you and everybody else look at me. I promise I'm okay."

It was a lie. A childish, foolish lie that anybody could see through. Especially Roan. But she said it anyway. In hopes that might ease the worry that washed across his face. It appeared it had only barely scratched the surface. 

She pushed herself from the edge, setting her empty bowl in a bucket and rested along the side of her uncomfortable bed. Roan mimicked her actions, joining on that disheveled excuse for a bed. As he plopped down, he noticed the small bit of leather sticking out from underneath the blankets. 

Roan moved to flip through the pages when she ripped it out of his hands. "Hey, I was going to read that!"

"You had four years to read it. Nothing has changed." She teased, trying to hide behind the false perception that it had been untouched in the past two years. There would be a time and place to dive into snippets she recorded in that journal. A time where all her friends would be around, and she could explain just what she knew. 

Not yet though. Now, she just wanted to enjoy this moment with her husband. 

"I never stopped loving you, Roan." She gave him a small smile, and as difficult as it seemed, it comforted him slightly. 

Astrid traced over his jawline with a gentle finger. Curious. More gray mixed in with his stubble. His hair had grown longer without her there to cut it (and she was sure he wouldn't allow Raven to either). Wrinkles, old and new, creased at her as she memorized his face again.

"What is it?" He questioned softly as he just watched in bewilderment. He wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, but he allowed it to persist regardless.

"You look different than in my memories." It sounded worse than she made it out to be. As if she had forgotten about him entirely. 

Though, even Roan had to admit even Astrid didn't compare to what she looked like two years ago. He always imagined her happy and nimble in the forest. The place she loved even before she set foot on the ground. He still couldn't wrap his head around why she opted to stay out there for so long, especially when Eden was so close.