Wait for the Signal: A Royalty Steve Rogers Story

Thirty-one

Steve had run off to god knows where, and at this point I was concerned. Was he okay?

"Should I go look for him?" I asked Sarah.

"Yes. Go."

Laura was in the room with us. She was in her grandmothers lap.

"Can you just bring her to the nurse if she gets fussy?"

"Of course."

I went off, going to look around the castle. Our room. Laura's. The kitchen. Steve's office. Every single room that I could think of.

Except for one.

Library.

I went up to the door, opening it. Steve was sitting there, staring at that awful bookshelf.

I can put away my weakness for him.

I came over, kissing his head. He glanced up.

"No. You can't be in here."

I sat down next to him. "What is going on?"

He sighed. "You really shouldn't be here."

I kissed his hand that rested on mine. "It's been months my lord. I'm fine."

He glanced back at that bookshelf. I did not even dare to look. I just kept my eyes on him.

"You know I love you." I whispered. "And I do not care about that. I care about you right now. You look exhausted. You rarely come to the chambers to sleep. You just stay up. You need to take care of yourself. Hear me?"

He glanced at me. "I have slept."

"When was the last time that you slept from night until the sun rose? Honest."

"I....I'm not sure."

"Exactly. You need to relax."

"Why are you so concerned about it?"

"Do not give attitude."

"I'm serious Ella. I do not need your help. I am fine."

"Fine. I'll be with the baby." I said. I got up, leaving the room. At that point I was angry at him. He wasn't opening up like he usually was. Something was wrong. I had to get to the bottom of it.

"Mama mama." Laura blabbed. I smiled at her.

"Hi darling." I said. I was sitting in my office, trying to make plans for the ceremony. I had tried my best to keep Steve out of it. I wanted to make sure he wasn't stressed. But today, I wanted to hand it all to him and go about with my day.

My daughter would have to be put down soon. I knew she was tired. She played with a small doll that her grandmother had gotten her.

I finished up arrangements of seating before standing up, grabbing my Laura Lynn.

"You wanna go give your father a kiss goodnight? Yeah?"

She nodded. I walked down the hall to Steve's office. Anger aside, I wanted to make sure my daughter saw him at least once a day.

I opened the door, but to my surprise, Steve was head down on his desk. I came over, touching his shoulder. He sat up quickly, grabbing my arm with such force. I gasped.

"Steve."

"Sorry. Oh gosh. Why didn't you knock first?" He said. He loosened his grip, sighing. I could feel the seering pain on my skin. Laura looked at her father.

"I was just...I wanted Laura to say goodnight."

"Yeah? Laura or you?"

"Laura, Steven. I wanted to make sure that our daughter saw her father at least once today." I snapped.

"Alright. God." He said. He took her, holding her close. She set her hands on his cheeks. I sat down in front of him at the desk. He gave me a quick stare.

"Come back here after she's down. Leave a nurse with her."

"No. She doesn't get raised by nurses all of the time."

"For one hour Elenor."

"I just told you no." I said sternly.

"What is with you?"

"I could ask the same for you steven."

"Quit calling me that."

"Alright Laura. Your father is all done. Come on babe."

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked.

"Taking her, and going to bed."

"No you are not."

"Yes I am. You are a piece of shit lately. You rarely even acknowledge me so I am leaving to go to bed because I know that you will not even make it there yet again tonight. So leave me alone. I want out of this game that you think you are playing. All you are is a spoiled-"

"-ENOUGH."

Laura immediately started crying in her fathers arms. He got up, walking with her as she cried from his voice.

"I'm sorry. It's alright." He said to her. Why can't he say that to me?

I walked out of the room, going off. I felt angry tears in my eyes. He had never yelled at me and meant it like he just did. Was I at fault? What was this?

I went out to the stables, getting on my horse. I wanted out of this castle. I felt no joy within in.

I led the horse out, going past the greens and into the forest. I was angry.

Just angry.

At myself. At Steve. At everything.

Angry for falling in love. Angry for choosing to become a princess. Angry for not staying in the shadows. Angry for using all my time and energy to give a child that my husband rarely looked at.

I felt as though every time I was okay something happened again.

I ended up by the waterfall. I got off my horse, sitting down. I would stay out here all night. I survived a dark cell with nothing but myself and a newborn, so I could very easily handle sleeping in a forest.

I sat against one of the rocks, looking up at the night sky. I did not care if Steve came to look for me. I was hoping he didn't.

I just sat there. And I was at peace.