Voices of Humanity

Chapter Twenty

The guilt I felt for Rebecca's fate would not leave me, even weeks after she disappeared from our midst. No one knew what I had done, but Madam treated me with just enough kindness now that I wondered if they suspected. Every one of my kitchen staff now seemed to regard me with just that much more weariness. Or perhaps it was merely paranoia on my part. Anxiety would not let me rest.

Though I went about my daily tasks with as much precision and care as was expected, my mind was unfocused and restless. It had of course been long since I had established myself as one willing to work with our overseer but still... I knew somthing had changed.

The fall cull came and went and four members of the kitchen team were taken from us. All were younger than myself. The morning we heard the news, Madam gave me a knowing smile, sending an odd mix of both elation and discomfort running through me. I had accomplished my goal. The dream I hadn't dared wish for. It was possible I might be allowed to remain even though I was not reproducing. It was possible I could stay in life to protect my daughter. But the cost would be high. I now belonged to Madame completely.

As news circulated I had survived the cull and remained barren, my status among the human flock was sealed. I was one of the chosen. A human kept for her value yes, but also her loyalty. One who would do anything to maintain her place and thus had the love if her Masters.

I tried to console myself, reasoning that it was, in fact, a lie. I had acted to protect the kitchen team as well as myself and my daughter. There'd been no other choice. Lying unsleeping in my bed each night, I reasserted my personal vows to do everything I could with my power to help others, staving off true betrayal of my own kind. My first act of penance would begin with Rebecca.

Now that my position was such that no human would question me, I had nearly unlimited freedom to roam the estate and ask whatever I wished any other slave with an expectation of obedience. Though I was still bound by the same scrutiny that fell on all humans, those under me would be far more hesitant to question my authority. I knew I could use this to gain the information I craved and assuage my guilt for the part I had played in the wild one's downfall.

From my snooping, I was able to ascertain the woman's location and health. Rebecca remained in a barn stall, locked away at night but permitted to leave her cramped accommodations during the day. Her pregnancy was said to be progressing well and her obedience had increased in return for more time in the fresh air.

Given her state, no hard labor had been assigned to her. She spent most of her time sewing, a task she apparently had skill with. I was glad to hear my actions had not led to her experiencing too much suffering. Of course there was still the matter of the lost limb.

As Madam had reported, Rebecca's foot had been amputated just before the heel, allowing her to manage to get around on her own, but not very far. She had been granted a prosthetic to aide her during hte day so she might still work. The limb was taken from her each evening and kept locked away far from her reach.

"But she is adjusting," the human girl I'd asked assured me. "I think miss Rebecca has learned to be happy here."

The words gave me no comfort. Perhaps she had given up on escape, but Rebecca would never be content as a slave. How could any born to freedom be so? Though I could not bring myself to regret uncovering her rebellion, I did nonetheless feel for her plight.

Fearing that in visiting her directly my sympathies might be too obvious, I instead turned to Madam to see if I might send along some good food for the woman.

"In spite of her transgression, the wild creature's offspring is a valuable product," I told her, hiding care for the women in concern for my Master's business. "I fear the baby might not be getting the sustenance it needs." I further suggested that Rebecca might do better with the company of her fellow humans once again.

Madam agreed to allow Rebecca better provisions. She took my suggestions of what dishes might best nurture the growing child and even permitted me to send along extra blankets to the woman so that she might be more comfortable and warm. But though Madam vowed to consider making a recommendation that Rebecca be returned to the dorms once the child was born, she would not relent further.