To His Future Lover ✔ (Haciendero #5)

Ikadalawampu't Tatlong Kabanata

Kabanata 33

Pinagmulan

"What's bothering you?" My husband sat beside me.

Siguro'y ramdam niya ang mood ko simula pa kahapon. It became sour as he picked me up in the building. Nawala iyong saya ko matapos naming kumain ng lunch sa aking opisina.

We had casual talks about our day.

Kapansin - pansin pa rin ang pagiging matamlay ko. He gave me space to think about my problem overnight. Hindi niya ako pinipilit sabihin sa kanya hangga't hindi ako handa, pero nagsisimula na siyang mag-alala ng husto.

"I saw my father..." Huminga ako ng malalim.

Shock was evident on my husband's face.

Of course, it was a shock to him.

Hindi naman naging parte ng aming buhay ang aking ama. I was too little to remember him as part of our lives. Simula nang hiwalayan siya ni Mama, wala na kaming naging balita sa kanya.

Kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama ni Mama buong durasyon ng buhay ko.

I was a liar if I would say that I wasn't mad at my father for being irresponsible.

Maraming hirap at sakripisyo si Mama habang lumalaki ako kaya mahal na mahal ko siya. She was able to give me a good life despite circumstances in life. Nakapag-aral ako at nakapagtapos ng dahil sa kanya.

I was loved by her that I didn't search for a father's love.

All of a sudden, we met after years of being no contact.

"I found his documents on the files of ten cancer patients we're helping."

Rafael Jacinto Concordia.

I knew his name.

Hindi ko lang hinanap ang aking ama dahil hindi naman kulang ang pakiramdam ko. Mama provided me so much love that it was enough to cater everything that I lacked.

Iyon ang bumabagabag sa aking pagkatao simula pa kahapon. Hindi ako sigurado sa nararapat kong maramdaman.

It was unexpected.

"Nabuhay naman kaming wala siya..." I sighed. "I didn't want any updates from his whereabouts. He was just my mother's sperm donor. Nothing more. In a few years of Tito Agustin coming into our lives, doon ko lang naramdamang magkaroon ng ama."

Hinaplos ni Chance ang aking likod. Bahagya naman akong nahiga sa kanyang balikat.

"Sasabihin ko ba iyon kay Mama?" I asked him.

"For me, yes. Nagkrus muli ang landas n'yong dalawa ng hindi sinasadya. It's better to tell her." He gave me an encouraging smile. "What do you plan... on him?"

"We won't deny help to everyone who needs help. We won't close our doors for personal reasons. Haharapin ko siya bilang estranghero, hindi bilang anak niyang pinabayaan..." I told my husband.

"You make me so proud, Crim." Dinampian niya nang masuyong halik ang aking noo.

Tumingin ako sa aking asawa.

"Kinakabahan ako. We'll meet every patient we're going to take care of. I'll meet him." I bit my lower lip.

"It's going to be fine, I promise." Pinisil niya ang aking kamay. "Kasama mo ako. He can't hurt you or anything."

I nodded.

Hindi naman ako natatakot.

Mahina na rin siya para masaktan ako. It's more of fear seeing him in flesh... that I'm going to be driven by anger. Masaya na ako sa buhay ko, ayoko nang magtanim pa ng galit.