PULSE [H.S]

034

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." — Paul Boese

Harry jumps right into it.

He says, "I knew who you were months before I ever met you. I saw you around with Aaron occasionally, and I didn't know you, but I knew him. I've worked with him for years—almost a decade. We sort of grew up together, in a way. Elias took me in and treated me like his second son, which Aaron didn't like. But Elias knew that I had what it took to do this kind of job, and Aaron didn't. That's why Aaron handles the financial end, and even though he will inherit everything Elias has, I think he still hates me for being in the position that he wants."

I'm stunned. He knew who I was way back then?

How far back do the lies go?

"Anyways, Aaron has always been an asshole. When he hurts people, it's almost like he enjoys it. He gets off on the power it gives him. When I saw you with him, I could only assume that he was abusive in that relationship. He never respected women. Every time I saw him, I hoped that you left him and got out of his grip. But you didn't. And then one day you showed up for boxing lessons in my gym."

"I saw it in your eyes that day—how he broke you. I saw the pain he caused you and the truth that you were trying to hide behind your eyes. You didn't know me that day, but I was almost proud of you for being there. When I saw the bruise on your arm, it confirmed everything I suspected about him. It made me hate him even more. No man should ever lay their hands on a woman in a violent way."

How he broke me. Aaron did break me. He broke me in so many ways that I've lost count. Over and over again, Aaron broke me, but Harry shattered me.

"And then you started hanging out with us, and I hated it. I wanted you to be as far away from us and this shit as you possibly could be. You clearly had already been through enough in this life; you didn't need to befriend people with such complicated lives. And the closer you got to us, the harder it was to navigate the fact that you were with someone that we all knew and hated. I wanted you to get away from all of it. But you were everywhere."

"When I saw your bruised ribs that day in the gym, I swear I almost hunted Aaron down and killed him. I wanted to smash his fucking skull in, but he's Elias's son, and he's untouchable because of that."

"And then you saw something you should have, and everyone saw you, and I didn't know what the fuck to do, but I knew I couldn't let them kill you. But the alternative was dragging you into a world that you were far too pure for. I'm sorry you had to see that."

I interrupt him, saying, "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have been there."

"You wouldn't have forgotten your sketchbook if I hadn't confronted you about the bruises. It was none of my business."

I hate that Harry blames himself for that. He blames himself for way too much. He's so hard on himself that it makes me sad for him. He carries so much weight on his back.

"Then you admitted that he abused you, and I dropped you off that night anyway. The next morning, I ran into Aaron. He knew you'd be hanging out with me, with all of us, and he didn't like that. I told him that if he ever puts his hands on you again... I'd—it doesn't matter. I provoked him. He had men with him, and they outnumbered me. By the end of it, he told me exactly where he was going. I didn't know the extent of his plans, but I knew it wasn't going to be good for you. He had his men hold me at the warehouse for a while, and I didn't know what the fuck was happening."

"I didn't have the power to fight him. He's Elias's son. He could have all of us killed if he wanted to. When I got to your apartment and saw you, I—I'm sorry. I should have stopped him. I should have done anything to help you. I can't sleep at night knowing I provoked him enough to do that."