PULSE [H.S]

109

"One may change the outer aspects of life, but one cannot change the soul within." - Sri Chinmoy

Three weeks.

In three weeks, we will either be free or dead.

We devised a plan for how we were going to make a move against Elias. His annual banquet is in three weeks, and Lucas insists that it is the best time for us to strike. The gathering causes a distraction, and it also allows the transfer of power to be public. I don't really think there will ever be a good time to make a move like this, but we have to do something before it's too late.

Elias is going to be heavily guarded that night, and he is going to know we are attempting a coup. The main advantage we have on our side is Lucas, because while Elias might suspect all of us, he will be blindsided by Lucas's betrayal. Hopefully. Lucas's men will be mixed with the rest of the security, giving us a better chance of getting through to Elias and getting out of there.

My main part in the whole plan is telling Elias a fake plan. I need to convince him that what I'm telling him is the truth, so he will be prepared for one thing to happen and be caught off guard when a completely different plan is put in place. The pressure on me to deliver this cover story is intense, and I feel nauseous when I think about it for too long.

We are telling Elias that the move is going to be made during his speech when he is on stage. It makes sense to do it then. There's an audience, so everyone will be watching as we take him down. The real plan is going to happen before he even steps foot on the stage.

Harry and Niall will be intercepting him on his way from his office to the stage. With the help of Lucas's men, they should be able to take him. He's most vulnerable when he's walking, so he will have a lot of men with him, but some of those men will be on our side.

I have a second part to play in all of this, which worries me even more than lying to Elias. I have to distract Aaron and find a way to get him alone long enough that Louis and Clove will be able to take care of him. Everyone knows I don't have it in me to kill him, which is why they're going to do it.

I don't think I have it in me to be okay with them killing him, either. He's an asshole, and with him alive, we will never be truly free after our coup, but he's still a person. I think he was corrupted by his father, and I can't blame him for that.

When we were together, I saw glimpses of the kind side of him. His kind moments were few and far between, and maybe they were all a ploy to manipulate me, but I think there's some good in him. It pains me that he might die in three weeks, and I will have sent him directly into the lion's den. His death will be on my hands even if I don't pull the trigger.

When we were discussing the plan, I had said, "Does Aaron have to die? Is there any option here that doesn't lead to his death?"

I was met with disbelief and annoyance from everyone. None of them even considered the possibility of keeping Aaron alive. It was like I said the stupidest idea to them, and they couldn't understand why I didn't want to strangle him with my own bare hands.

Clove said, "Why are you trying to protect him?"

"I'm not. I just—" I paused, not even sure of the reason myself. I mumbled, "I don't know."

"I love you and your kind heart, Kiz, but he almost killed you. He doesn't deserve your kindness. There's a point where you have to accept that not everyone can be saved, and not everyone deserves to be," Clove had said back to me, and I was silent after that.

Not everyone can be saved, and not everyone deserves to be.

Those words stuck with me for the rest of the day. They spun around my head for hours until I fully digested them. He almost killed me, and he wants us all dead. He lied to me and abused me for years. Why do I still have a natural instinct to protect him?