PULSE [H.S]

105

"Insecure people only eclipse your sun because they're jealous of your daylight and tired of their dark, starless nights." — Shannon L. Alder

Zayn is so pretty.

Every time I see him, I swoon over him. There's something so beautiful about him and the way that he carries himself, and I don't think he even knows how amazing he is.

We've been running together again, and he's still helping me with my fitness journey. I thank him every time we do a workout together because he always motivates me to keep going when I would quit if I was by myself.

Today, we are running on the track behind the gym like we used to do all those months ago. I'm starting to be able to keep up with him again, and my stamina is coming back slowly.

"How were you guys trained for the cartel?" I ask Zayn.

He says, "We all went through a brutal training process since most of us came in at pretty young ages, and we had no experience with fighting or weaponry. We'd train every day, usually all day, for a few months."

It sounds like boot camp to me. Harry's never talked about it, and all I know about his training is that he was trained by Lucas.

"So they taught you basic fighting skills, and stuff like how to shoot a gun?" I ask, curious for more details.

Zayn says, "Kind of. We learned a lot more than that, like how to maneuver a car chase, how to do robberies, and a lot of other shit that no kids should be taught and tested on."

"Tested?"

"Elias would put us through evaluations to make sure we were making progress," he explains. He pauses and turns to look at me, his brow furrowing. "If you failed a test, you were punished for it. Harry hasn't told you any of this?"

"No," I reply. "What do you mean, punished?"

We run at a fast pace, and my lungs start burning quickly. I've never been good at running and talking at the same time, I lose my breath so easily.

He says, "I struggled with speed when I first started, and I failed the running test because I was too slow. Elias then handcuffed me to a treadmill and increased the speed until my body couldn't take it. I fell, and since I was strapped to the machine, I had friction burns all over my body. It was one of the worst things I've ever experienced, pain-wise."

"Zayn, holy shit," I say, my eyes wide. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe he would do that."

"It's alright. He did much worse than that to others," Zayn says. He shrugs it off. "It forced us to learn quickly, and it's why we are all as efficient as we are now. It's also why I run every day."

My heart hurts for him. I can't imagine going through that, and it breaks my heart that everyone had to be trained that way. It seems like something Elias would do, but it's so cruel. The world will be a better place when he is gone.

I ask, "Why didn't I have to be trained?"

I would have died. There's no way I would have survived anything like what Zayn was describing, and I'm sure he is sugarcoating it for me.

"I don't think he ever intended for you to be a full fledged cartel member," he replies, "but it's why Harry taught you basic things, in case Elias ever wanted you to be tested for some reason."

I feel nauseous. I ask, "Does he still train people like that?"

"Yeah. He usually recruits them from juvie or the streets and then turns them into weapons. I didn't even realize how fucked it all was when I was being trained. I was happy to have a sense of purpose and something to work towards. It's why he targets kids who have nothing. He tells them he'll give them everything, and we all fall for it because we have nothing to lose," Zayn says.