PULSE [H.S]

035

"Running away from your problems is a race you'll never win." - Unknown

The bell to the tattoo shop rings as I walk through it.

Niall and Pen's heads turn to look who is walking in, and they both smile when they see me. Pen is sitting at her station, and Niall's lounging in her tattoo chair.

"Hey," I say as I walk in and set my bag down. "I didn't expect to see you here, Niall."

Niall says, "Sup, Kiz."

"Long time no see, girl, how have you been?" Pen asks, her face a little bit concerned.

It's been a while since I've been here between everything that happened, and I haven't really told Pen anything. It's difficult to fill her in on things when it is all blurred together with the cartel stuff. I hate that I have to be so careful with what I say to her.

Before I can answer, Niall asks, "You and Styles make up yet?"

Pens eyebrows furrow in, and she looks at me. She asks, "What happened between you and Harry?"

"Nothing," I say as I look through the schedules for the next month. I also need to get payroll taken care of today. I say, "He's just a difficult person to be friends with."

Things have been good between Harry and me since he explained everything to me. We went back to our normal dynamic. We spend a lot of time together, but it's clear that Harry and I are just friends. Friends that occasionally have sex.

Pen says, "It sounds like you two are more than friends. Niall said you two hooked up."

My mind flashes with the memory of Harry going down on me in the bathroom at the dinner event, and my cheeks tint. I remember the horror that filled me when we opened the door to see Niall's smug face on the other side.

I glare at Niall, saying, "Did he now?"

"Are you still living with him?" Pen presses on.

I say, "Yeah, until I can find an apartment of my own that Aaron doesn't know about."

Pens eyes fill with sympathy, and I have to look away from her. I hate that look. Everyone's been giving me that look, like I'm a kicked dog that needs to be coddled or I'm going to self-combust at any second.

I get the attention off of myself, asking, "What's going on with you two?"

"We're just shacking up," Niall says, and Pen nods.

"Okay." I laugh at the terminology used. "Cool."

Niall heads out soon after that to go to work, which I don't want to know what that even means for someone like him. Before he goes, he gives me a hug and says goodbye, telling me that it's nice to see my face around again.

I put on some 80s music in the shop, which is usually a hit with the typical clients we get in here. Pen's been telling me that I need to take videos of the tattoos I do so she can put them on TikTok, but I feel weird doing that.

Pen says, "I think I might actually like him, Kiz."

"Really?" My eyes dart over to her.

She nods, "We're so similar, and we just get each other. I feel like I know everything about him, which is crazy considering we haven't known each other for that long."

I want to yell at her and shake her out of this illusion she's living in. I want to sit her down and tell her that she knows absolutely nothing about Niall, and that she doesn't want to know the truth about him. She should run in the other direction.

I love Niall. I think he's a great person. He's just caught up in something that is too dangerous for Pen. I don't want her world to be flipped upside down like mine was.

I say, "Do you want more than what you two have been doing?"

"I don't know," she shrugs. "I'm happy with how it's going right now. I don't want to put pressure on anything. I think I might like more than just his body."

I laugh, "He's a good person."

"So, is Harry good in bed?" she asks me.

My cheeks burn, and I say, "I'm not talking about this."

"He is, isn't he? He has to be," Pen says.

I tune her out, not wanting to discuss Harry and I's weird history. I look through some files on the computer, getting ready to do payroll. I haven't kept up with the business end of things for a while.

My phone buzzes, and I'm disappointed when I see Aaron's name pop up. He wrote, 'Don't forget what I asked of you.'

I did forget about that, honestly. I don't know how he expects me to essentially spy on Harry and all of them. I have no idea what they're planning, if they're even planning anything at all. And telling Aaron anything would mean betraying all of them.

I respond, 'I didn't.' The only reason I even answer his texts is because last time I ignored him, he ambushed me at the worst possible time. Part of me wonders if that's part of the reason Elias insisted I go alone, so his son could trap me in an office.

I want to abandon my life here and start over somewhere new where nobody knows my name. Then I could be Cozette if I wanted, and I could reinvent myself.

"Would you ever drop this life entirely and move to another country without telling anyone?" I ask Pen.

Pen laughs, "I think I would. I'd tell you, though."

"Really?" I ask, surprised. "You'd start over, just like that?"

She shrugs. "If I had the money to, sure. There's not much keeping me here besides this job. It would be fun to live a whole new life, you know? Go somewhere where nobody knows you, and you could be anyone you want to be."

I think I'd move to Europe. Maybe Ireland or Switzerland. I'd like to have a small house in a small town, surrounded by scenery.

I ask, "Who would you be?"

"Oh, myself, obviously," she says, "I love myself too much to ever be anyone else."

My phone dings again, and I expect it to be Aaron, but it's a notification from my bank. $700,000 was just deposited into my account. Harry said my payment for the job would be coming today, and it would be a lot, but holy shit.

I'm a literal millionaire right now.

I say, "Pen, I'm giving you a bonus in your next paycheck for helping run things around here recently. I really appreciate it, by the way."

"Oh, you don't have to do that," she says, waving her hands dismissively. Then she raises her eyebrows at me, asking, "How much we talking?"

"Five grand sound good?"

"I could kiss you right now," Pen says as she runs over to me and gives me a big hug. She says, "I can help my mom buy a new car with that money."

I smile, happy for Pen that I can help make that happen for her. The money makes me feel guilty, and it doesn't even feel like I've earned any of it. But if I can use it to help others, I'm not going to argue about it.

I say, "Don't tell Danny."