Taehyung is returning home after almost 6 years!
Everyone in the house is very happy. Although Jungkook was happy at first but as time progresses his fear increases. He almost stopped breathing in fear. Be it or not, Taehyung left this house for him...
Jungkook went out without looking back. Tae watched him go in silence, his eyes are welling up with tears but he felt no need to stop Jungkook, he comforted himself by thinking that there was no need to be so desperate for a boy who was seeking peace away from him, who found him unbearable.
The way Jungkook blamed Tae, if someone else was in Tae's place, he would have definitely regretted but Tae isn't regretting, he is suffering. His chest has tightened up as he felt immense pain there. His eyes couldn't control the welling up tears anymore but he doesn't want to cry in front of everyone so he calmly walks towards his room.
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Tae lay down on his bed and thought to himself as tears were continuously started pouring from his eyes.
--- " Well, does Jungkook really not want me..? Am I that bad, no one likes a person like me..? I also know that there is no reason to like me, my behaviour is not normal. But why Jungkook didn't understand that there was no gap in my LOVE. I know that I couldn't love like others because my life was reckless but that's why, he would leave me like this..Desperate to escape from me..? Well, Jungkook, why didn't the question arise in your mind for a single time that why did I left the house for a simple incident that day..? Does someone really leaves home for a little misunderstanding. I didn't leave home because of you or my parent's scolding and beating, I left the house because of the anger on myself. I wanted to punish myself after seeing you unconscious that day, my soul was shaken inside when I saw you laying in a miserable state because of me. So I decided to stay away from you because I could see that I was unable to control my anger. I was hurting you even if I don't want to. That's why I wanted you to be spared from my anger, I accepted to leave you no matter how hard it was for me but I won't torture you by staying with you. I thought that if I was away from you, maybe I would be able to control my anger and that's why..
I pushed myself into an uncertain future, just to not hurt you. Tell me what can I do...everyone in the world isn't same, some are rough and some are soft. And God made me like this that if you disobey me, I can't control myself and hurt you. If I say the truth, you seem very special to me whole I wanted to hold onto me with my everything for forever. I will be the only one you will think about. I will be the only one in your world. Actually, I was afraid that if I give you freedom and allowed you to mix with others, you would leave me.
But believe me, Jungkook, I have tried a lot to change myself in these 6 years, I have gone to some psychiatrists, but all in vain because I naturally born like this. Even after all these years, when I came close to you, my 6 years of efforts failed and I went back to that reckless beginning, in an instant everything changed as soon as I looked at you. I felt like your only mine, I can't see you with anyone else.
But today I was able to do what I couldn't do in these 6 years, knowing that you are leaving me, I didn't stop you or didn't get angry either because I realized that I don't deserve you. So I will not hurt you from now on, you are free from today, Jungkook. I will not run after you anymore, I have got hold of myself, Jungkook, you are dead to me from now on....I have learned to live without you, Jungkook.
