I ≠ dol || Yeonbin

•.But That's My Truth.•

Silence surrounded the two men. One was trying to keep his tears in while the other was trying to make sense of what the other had just told him.

Yeonjun couldn't get any words out of his mouth so all he did was pull Soobin closer, engulfing him in a hug. He couldn't believe the younger had gone through all of that.

All of that alone.

Soobin had burst into tears the second that Yeonjun had hugged him so Yeonjun held him tighter. It took awhile for Soobin to calm down. Luckily during that time Yeonjun had already thought about what he was going to say. And he was going to tell his truth.

Even if that meant losing Soobin's trust.

Or just losing Soobin.

He hoped that wouldn't be the case.

He pulled Soobin away before speaking. He noticed that Soobin was reluctant to move away from the hug and held onto his hand instead. He let him.

"Soobin...may I tell you my truth?" Yeonjun waited for Soobin to nod before he continued. "The night we met...at the club. I knew who you were. I've been a fan of yours for the longest time. Granted, you were my bias but you were my bias wrecker." Yeonjun smiled at the memory of squealing with his friends while opening up albums. Soobin's albums. 

"When you had been pulled away by Sunghoon I went after you, you had been gone for a while so I turned curious. But I regret going after you because I heard you saying I wasn't that pretty. I know I shouldn't have been so hurt by that but I was and that's why I went to go sit somewhere else. I didn't want to face you. I mean, my dignity was kind of crushed. No one would really feel good if their idol called them ugly."

He noticed Soobin was about to say something so he leaned forward, stealing a kiss to shut him up. Which worked but still shocked both of them.

"Then like you said, we saw each other at the party. At the time, even though it had been a few weeks since I had last seen you, I was still hurt by you calling me ugly. But the shots loosened me up and I just became horny. So I let the alcohol take over and was going to sleep with you but then my friend Beomie called me and he needed me."

Yeonjun took in a deep breath, remembering how Beomgyu had been SA'd that day.

"So I left, there was no way I was going to let my best friend suffer by himself. When I found him, Beomie told me, well his actual name is Beomgyu, he told me that he had been raped that night. It was so hard seeing him that broken Soobin. It was so terrible and heartbreaking. I- I swear if I ever find out who did that to him I'll kill them with my bare hands-"

Soobin squeezed Yeonjun's hands, signaling to him to take a deep breath and to calm down. Yeonjun did just that before talking on.

"But now I wish I had taken you along with me. I don't know how you've been dealing with all of that sexual harassment alone and now to know that you being raped could've been prevented. I don't know how I could've let two people in my life get raped in the same fucking night-"

Soobin cut him off a second time, saying "Yeonjun stop it. It is not your fault that me and Beomgyu got SA'd. You're a good person and the fact that you were there for Beomgyu that day and the fact that you're here for me right now proves that. Don't blame yourself."

Yeonjun had started crying at this point. Soobin too. But Yeonjun wasn't done so he held onto Soobin's hand tighter while talking through his tears.

"Thank you Soobin. Thank you."

Soobin nodded and then told him to continue on with his story.

"I- uhm. I really just wanted to take my mind off of everything so I texted you telling you that I wanted to make it up to you. And then you came over for sex. I-if I had known you had just been raped though I would've never asked for sex and I'm so sorry-"

Soobin shook his head.

Right. It's not his fault.

"Right. Okay. Sorry. So then I saw your cuts and I was so scared. Because I have lost someone to mental health before. She used to cut herself too. So I was nervous that you were going to end up like her. She was so mentally unwell that she cut until she had no more skin left to slice. So then she killed herself. I didn't want you to end up like her. That's why I was freaking out on you. I hadn't meant to trigger you."

Yeonjun took a moment to wipe the tears off of his face and then laced his fingers with Soobin's again.

"That's also why I spammed your phone with text messages. I was worried about you. But then you ghosted me and I came back to my reality. I had completely forgotten that you were an idol and I was just a college student. So I let you ghost me. I never reached out because I figured the best way to handle this was to leave you alone. I really wanted to talk to you but I tried to convince myself that you would never see me as anything other than some guy you wanted to fuck. I had also tried to convince myself that..."

Yeonjun let go of Soobin's hand as he said this, looking out of the window at the city of Seoul. "That I hadn't fallen for you. But sadly I had. I don't how it happened but along the way of this fucked up journey I found myself looking past your idol image and liking you as Soobin. Don't get me wrong it's not love. And I hope it doesn't turn into love. I don't want to become more heartbroken you know?" Yeonjun chuckled, still refusing to look at the younger.

"But that's my truth. And I'm sorry that I've fallen for you. I never meant to."

And with that Yeonjun stood up, moving away from the younger to leave when a hand grabbed onto his wrist pulling him back.

Soobin's lips met his in a kiss. A kiss full of warmth and feelings that weren't shown before.

It all makes sense now. I like Yeonjun too, that's why I feel like this around him.

Yeonjun's hands wrapped around the younger's waist and Soobin's found his hands traveling up to grab the older nape.

When they pulled away both of their lips were swollen and red, both of their eyes glazed over and slightly puffy from crying.

"Yeonjun...I like you too."

•.•.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

One dream! ~ Kai 🫶🏼

6/6/24