✗ twelve ✗

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chapter twelve

Michelle, my own mama's name, is one of those teeny tiny women who somehow use their voice to take a lot of space. Just give me a call if you need anything Lian! Tawagan mo lang si nanay dyan sa tabing bahay kung kailangan mo ng grocery! Wag kang mahiya! She volunteered to look after you if wala kami dito sa bahay!

[ Just call the lady next door if you need groceries! Don't be shy! She volunteered to look after you if we're not home! ]

She's exhausting to be around sometimes.

Her today's announcement: "Family dinner! Baba kana dito, Lian. Kakain na tayo!"

[ Family dinner! Come down here, Lian. We're going to eat now! ]

Until now, I've mostly avoided to sit down at our new kitchen table because usually, there's no point sitting alone if both of my parents were always too busy on their jobs to actually ask or care if I'm okay with the old lady living next door to look after me or if I like to eat all the dishes she was preparing for me.

She's nice, too nice to even deserve the quiet reservation I can only give her most of the time.

But sometimes, perhaps all I need is my parents to be with me.

I peek out of my bedroom, see that my own cat is making her way downstairs. Her own kittens, funnily enough, knowing how to walk on their own these days, followed her even though they were all falling like furry balls down the steps.

Not a bad idea to take a short video of them and I grab my phone to capture them with me helping some small ones to properly stand on our way down together.

"Seriously Lian", Mama says, her voice louder than usual when she saw me entering the kitchen with the kittens just crawling around my feet.

"It's bad enough that Mingming had almost reach for my tinapa and now her babies are also here"

I look at my Papa, roll my eyes to show I'm not bothered. He gives me a tiny smile when his wife isn't looking. Play the perfect quiet child as usual and pretend I'm not angry that they brought me here, that they didn't bother to ask how I'm doing at school.

I've mastered the game of Pretend all those years of them leaving me to fend for myself.

"Looks delicious. I'm shock you were able to bring some tinapa and buro here", I stated, because it does look good, something familiar at once for me.

I need some pinoy food nowadays. Tinapa is a filipino term for smoked fish while buro for fermented rice - sometimes mixed with fish or shrimp.

"One of our co-worker, Trina who came home there had just given it to us yesterday", Mama announces, "Mingming, get off the table. We have some big exciting news!"

"I'm having a sister?", I deadpan, and then laugh at my own joke, which is not at all funny.

I can only be like this in front of them, or if I were really comfortable with some people. It takes some time though.

"Very funny. Papa got promoted at work today!", Mama grins, as if her husband just accomplished an amazing feat, but for me, it was a bad news.

I'll grant her this, even if I'm not much in the mood to grant her anything: her enthusiasm is generous.

My Papa's salary will probably get higher, which could only mean one thing. They'll be able to save so much money soon and if they get tired of this place, I can imagine myself being moved to another country.

And then what? I have to start all over again.

"Let’s toast!", Mama says, and to my surprise pours both Papa and me each a small glass of wine. He doesn't say anything and neither do I, "Sa bagong buhay"

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