riki.nishimura. → yours sincerely

36

→ A FEW WEEKS LATER

It's been a while. A very long while.

Matter of a fact, a while was needed between the two of us.

He could collect his thoughts over this time, and so could I. It's best for the two of us, really.

I know he told me to not keep him hanging for too long, but too many thoughts crowded over my head. Such like, whether he used me only to write his lyrics, or whether he just wanted me for the thrill of it.

I don't think he ever asked me to stay solely because he wanted me, he only wanted the ability to write for his band, or that's what I concluded at least.

Every time we passed by each other in the hallways, it felt like the entire school went silent, and it was just us two here.

He always looked at me, wanting to talk to me. But I never looked at him, not because I didn't want to talk to him - truthfully - I wanted to, but I didn't know what to say.

I'm pretty sure all the girls had even noticed over the course of the few weeks that something was certainly up, and it wasn't quite hard to deduce what it was.

We were currently celebrating some girl's birthday. She hosted a birthday party at her place, and majority of the year was going, so we too, thought, why not?

The five of us were just sat on the rooftop, I was leaning on the railing, staring out into the cityscape, swirling a glass of red wine in my hand.

Usually, I wasn't much of a wine kind of girlie, but since it was there, we all decided to act like middle aged mothers with it.

I took a small sip, giving a quick exhale. I felt drowsy, nowadays I felt drowsier than I used to be. I wasn't sure whether that was just a side effect of school or what, either way, I was probably going to fall asleep sometime soon.

I stared, and stared out into each building, every light that flickered on or off, every beam of a car passing down some road.

Up until I snapped myself out of it, and turned around, only to be surprised with the fact that the girls had disappeared, and that I was the only one on this rooftop now.

Damn, how long did I dissociate for? Clearly long enough for time to pass that quickly.

Nonetheless, feeling a little sluggish and tired, I continued staring out, maybe the more I stare out into this place, the faster time will fly and eventually I'll be out of this place.

I leant my body on the railing, finishing my glass of red wine and just loosely holding it in my hand. I gave a large sigh, I have no idea what was stressing me out so bad.

"You okay?" A voice I haven't heard in so long spoke beside me.

I slowly turned my head to look at him, and it felt like the world was spinning so rapidly. His face was clear in my eyes, but everything behind him, a blur.

"Yeah." I simply said, looking back to the cityscape. The cool wind blew towards us, my hair gently flowing behind as the wind carried it.

"You don't really look okay.." He continued, and I just gave an exasperated exhale.

"I can't lie to you, can I? You somehow read me like a book all the time." I didn't look at him, still continuing to stare out.

He gave a chuckle, but it had a small taint of sadness.

"I miss us." Niki abruptly spoke, followed by a gust of silence between the two of us.

I turned to look at him, leaning my head on my arm. I didn't know what to say to him at first, sure, I missed us too, but what aspect of us did he really miss?

I lift my head up again, the two of us staring deeply into each other.

"What part of us, do you exactly miss?" I gave a scoff, sounding more bitter than anything.

"I miss it all Haeun, it's not just the letters you sent me, I could give a fuck about the band, I miss you, I miss what we had." It was Niki's turn to gaze out into the city, observing all the pretty lights and skyscrapers.

I just listened intently, as best as I could with this alcohol heading straight to my head.

"Mhm." I somehow found this amusing, and choked out a chuckle.

Niki turned his head to look at me, staring at me in a slight bit of perplexion. As if he was astounded that I even laughed at his little confession.

"Haeun, it's been too long without you." Niki gave a sigh, feeling a wave of defeat hit him.