The Midas Touch

Ch. 33

Kazuya Isamu Vitus
Born June 6th, 2006 at the residence of one Dick Jon Trinity, delivered by one Akina Nari Vitus-Trinity at 5:12pm with the help of midwife Joanna Wirke.

Body measurements:
Wt: 9lbs, 6oz
Height: 16in

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I always thought I'd be the one to cause my parent's demise. Funniest part is that it actually used to be a genuine fear of mine. I'd watch them fight over my existence and their life circumstances and I'd feel this sense of dread, thinking both of them would have a heart attack and die and it would be my fault. And I thought that guilt would kill me.

That never happened, obviously. And once I got a taste of what bruises felt like, and what a heart attack actually was, I knew that there was no chance in hell they'd die early. Not only were they both hard-headed and stubborn people, but despite their best efforts, they were both incredibly healthy.

And it's kind of sad, you know. Because after I realized that they'd live another good fifty years, there was a weird transition period where instead of guilt I started to feel resentment. I don't know exactly when, but at some point I stopped feeling bad and instead felt anger.

I would come home from school to the chaos of their custody war and tension and wish that I would die first. At the very least I could live in a quiet household that didn't feel so...cold.

That's when I started getting into trouble. It wasn't exactly me being rebellious to get attention, it was more me taking out the anger I felt towards my parents, and especially my dad, on someone else because I couldn't do it to him.

By the time they had finalized everything with the divorce, the damage was already done. I was angsty, going through the terrors of middle school, and now dealing with my sexuality on top of everything.

Me and my mom grew apart and I started picking worse friendships, getting into spaz relationships with women 10 years older than me online, just so they could tell me I was pretty and I could feel good and in control of my life.

My house went from being cold to empty, and that was almost worse.

I've had a lot of bad days in my limited amount of years. A surprising amount. But this is truly the lowest I have felt in a while.

And even as I'm sitting here in a nice warm car with the kindest people you could ever meet and the cutest boy I've ever had the privilege of seeing sitting next to me, I can't help but feel that same sense of dread.

I don't deserve this. It's almost like I've been surrounded by so much judgement that the lack of it is too strange to consider. I feel like I'm suffocating on nothing but love, and it's chilling.

As we pull up to their house I make a deal with myself. I'm not staying here. I can't. I will not let myself drag this family down with me. I won't let myself drag Midas down with me either.

His mom steps out of the driver's seat and says something to her husband as he heads towards the door. The garage is small and filled to the brim with various things. It looks chaotically organized, like all the gardening tools, toys, floaties, and memories have specific places to go but were thrown there carelessly.

The two exposed wood steps to the garage door have dirt foot prints and a green stain on the bottom one. The door opens as Midas's dad pushes it open, and I'm immediately greeted with thumping footsteps making their way over.

A dark-haired little girl comes around the corner to peek down the hallway, but once she sees me, she hides back. I wave at her, trying to get her to remember me from the hospital so she can be less nervous, but I'm pushed to the side as Midas squeezes by, and immediately the girl laughs and starts running full speed at us.