Destined Hearts

Chapter 19

Muhammad's POV

It's been a week since his funeral and Umma and Hiba's return. They had flown to Sudan to bury him there because that was where all his family resided and their family home too. I had been coming over everyday to help with anything I could. Umma was seemingly okay. I guess because she expected it to happen soon enough, and she had already begun to accept it. She would smile at me when I spoke to her, and she wasn't that absent as I would have thought.

I'm in her room reading a newspaper as she watches her hausa shows she's so fond of. We've been sitting in silence for 10 minutes, but I knew she just needed to feel a presence rather than constantly talk.

"Muhammad." She calls.

I turn to her, "Naam."

"Are you going to do what he asked you to?" She asks still watching her show.

"Do what?" I ask.

She turns her head to look me in the eye, "Get married to Madeenah."

I pause as I think of what to say. I can't gauge what she's feeling now. Is she feeling betrayed that I might get married to another woman apart from her daughter? Does she want me to do it? Is she trying to test me?

"I don't know." I say simply.

She's quiet for a bit, "I like her. And I think he is right." She closes her eyes softly before she corrects herself, "Was."

"I don't know if I can do it." I admit.

"She's an amazing girl, truly. She takes care of your daughter amazingly and you trust her."

"That doesn't mean I can marry her."

"What more do you want?" She asks, "She's beautiful, driven, smart, caring and mature. I don't think you could find someone better."

"I know." I say with a sigh. She is all of that and I know that.

"Unless it's because your scared of what that might mean about your relationship with Maryam?"

"How can I marry another woman just 2 years after she died? Does that mean I didn't love her enough?" I ask, finally voicing my fears.

"Maryam would want you happy and content. She would want her daughter with a mother to call her own. My daughter was selfless, and she would want to see you happy. You know that deep within you."

I know. I know. I know. I'm being unreasonable and I'm denying Inayah what she will one day ask me for. And what if I let this opportunity go and I won't be able to find someone suitable to be her mother? I lived with Madeenah alone and it was fine. More than fine actually expect all those moments I ruined it. She took care of Inayah and me in extension, kept the place clean and didn't get in my way. It would be easy living with her full-time especially if our relationship would be just for Inayah. Would that be so bad?

"I know Umma. I'll think about it." I tell her, "I have to go home for a bit, but I'll be back later." I stand up.

"Don't let her slip through your fingers. She is a beautiful girl and I'm sure she has enough people wanting her." She warns and for some reason a bitter taste invades my mouth at the thought of her with one of those other guys like that Khalil in her school.

I nod and walk out of the room, my head running a mile a minute as I try to figure out what the hell I should do.

"Ina Inayah?" I ask Jamilah, her nanny, when I enter the house. (Where is Inayah?)

"Tana ta kuka a dakin ta." She says. (She's crying in her room.)