Harmione One Shots

Not the First

Summary: Ron is ecstatic to be the first in the dorm to get a blow job... or so he thinks.

Ship: HarryPotterxHermioneGranger & RonWeasleyxLavenderBrown

All credit goes to Anonymous on Ao3

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Neville was distracted from his letter by the sound of the dormitory door slamming open. Ron came strutting in, a manic grin on his face.

"She sucked me off!" he shouted, throwing his fists in the air victoriously.

The other four boys all stared at him.

Ron went and sat on his bed, his grin still firmly plastered on. Seamus quickly shut the door that he'd left open behind him.

"She sucked me off!" Ron repeated, as though there were anyone in the tower who could possibly have missed him shouting it the first time.

"Congrats, mate," Seamus said with some obvious bitterness. Dean echoed the words hollowly.

Ron threw himself back onto his bed, grinning blissfully up at his curtains. "She said it was my birthday present, even if we didn't get the chance for it on my actual birthday." Ron's birthday had been a few days ago, an otherwise uneventful day with a small celebration held in the common room. Ron had enjoyed being the center of attention, and so hadn't run off with Lavender. "She's wonderful. She's got a really big mouth, you know."

"Yeah, we know," Dean said wryly.

Ron chuckled, although it was really more like a giggle. "I don't mean that way. She fit my whole cock in her mouth at once. I thought most girls weren't able to do that, at least not without it going down their throats."

"Maybe you've just got a small cock," Seamus suggested.

Ron wasn't even fazed. "You're just jealous, mate. I'm the first of all of us to get my cock sucked."

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Er... No, you're not."

Ron stared at him, his euphoria fading. "What?"

Harry looked like there were very many things he would rather do than break this news to Ron. "You're not the first of us to get... sucked off, as you put it."

Neville withheld his groan as Ron's characteristic jealousy began to smash through his good mood. "Er, congrats," he said quickly, pasting on a façade of admiration. "You could tell us more about what it was like."

Ron was pulled back from the precipice of anger, brightening at Neville's fabricated awe. As he launched into a more elaborate description of his new experience, Harry shot Neville a grateful look.

When Ron started to lose his momentum, Seamus tentatively cleared his throat. "I suppose this means you're not wondering anymore how Hermione is reacting to all this?"

"Hermione?" Ron looked at him in confusion. "What's Hermione got to do with this?"

"I reckon that answers my question."

Ron quirked an eyebrow, but then shrugged. "Hermione's a prude. I doubt she'd have sucked me off even if we dated for a year. Don't know why I wasted so much time trying to get in her pants. But Lavender..." His grin returned. "She's up for anything, mate. I reckon she'll let me shag her soon."

Neville glanced at Harry. The Boy-Who-Lived was sitting very still, staring at nothing, his face a carefully controlled blank mask as he listened to Ron describe their other best friend in less than flattering tones. Neville was angry himself, but he followed Harry's lead and kept his emotions in check. They both knew that getting angry at Ron invariably led to irrational escalation, and never to any lessons learnt.