Beauty and the Shaolin Zombie // Liu Kang x Usagi [COMPLETED]

Chapter 11: Diamond's Song

Back at the Earthrealm at the tavern, Diamond was still reeling from Serena's rejection.

"Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Diamond!" Diamond complained.

Sapphire giggled. "Darn right."

"Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear." Diamond threw the bottle of beer to the fireplace.

"More beer?" Sapphire asked.

"What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced." Diamond said, looking away.

"Who, you? Never! Diamond, you've got to pull yourself together." Then his spirits were lifted when his brother, Sapphire, and the townspeople sing about how no man measures up to him.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Diamond
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Diamond
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Diamond
No one's quick as Diamond
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Diamond
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's been like Diamond
A king pin like Diamond

No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Diamond

As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

My what a guy, that Diamond

Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"

Diamond is the best
And the rest is all drips

No one fights like Diamond
Douses lights like Diamond

In a wrestling match nobody bites like Diamond

For there's no one as burly and brawny

As you see I've got biceps to spare

Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

(That's right!)

And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair

No one hits like Diamond

Matches wits like Diamond

In a spitting match nobody spits like Diamond

I'm espcially good at expectorating

(Ptooey!)

Ten points for Diamond!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge

No one shoots like Diamond
Makes those beauts like Diamond

Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Diamond

I use antlers in all of my decorating

Say it again
Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who's the hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down

And his name's D-I-A- M -
D-I-A-M - O -
D-I-A-M-O - oh!

Diamond