Acceptance heals everything

Part 71. Having no hope

"Bhai, what are you thinking? You can talk to me, don't stay silent like this", Jassi asked after 20 mins where Virat was just resting his head on his shoulder silently lost in his own thoughts. 

"I always had control on my life, a systematic approach to follow, a routine-- look at me now, I don't have any idea what am I doing. My best friend, brothers, my family-- I lost everyone and more importantly I lost myself", said Virat feeling completely lost. 

Jassi held his hand, "Bhai, why don't we take things slow? One at a time as Dr. Maya would advise. I cannot even imagine what u went through but can assure you that u have not lost anyone and if I speak specifically, I m here bhai by your side", he said gently. 

Virat gave a soft tired smile to him. 

"Should we go downstairs?", Jassi asked to which Virat nodded. 

He helped Virat to Rohit's room where KL was helping Rohit with the meals, "Good, you are also here. I have got dinner for you both", KL said as Jassi helped Virat to the bed. 

Jaddu and Ash entered the room, Jassi noticed how Virat looked down not meeting their eyes and he got bit stiff too. He just sat infront of Virat and fed him dinner to divert his mind. 

Rohit and KL both noticed something different but chose not to say anything. As they were having dinner Jaddu and Ash left the room. Jassi noticed Virat was less anxious now.

Jassi held his hand, "Bhai it's fine, it's okay", he said softly. 

KL handed Virat his painkillers, "Maya is gonna come tomorrow to resume the sessions", he said in a quiet voice waiting for Virat to register the same. 

Virat just nodded at that. KL frowned at such a silent reaction, he looked at Rohit who was equally worried. 

Before anyone could ask anything to Virat, his phone rang, "Yes?", he answered. 

"Okay", he replied and hanged up the call. 

Jassi took the phone and kept it on the side of the table so that he should not stretch.

"Your sessions will resume from tomorrow, doctors will come in the morning", informed Virat and he lay down closing his eyes not wanting to talk to anyone. 

Jassi and KL left from there so that they could sleep, Rohit looked at Virat who had turned to his side which wasn't injured. 

"What's wrong Vi?", Rohit asked gently but Virat did not answer anything, "sleep Rohit, u have sessions tomorrow", he said not turning towards Rohit. 

Rohit sighed at that, "Vi before sharing everything I asked you if u could talk to me like old times and u asked for help-- why are u pushing me away again?", he asked in a quiet tone. 

"because nothing is same like old times", said Virat and from the tone Rohit could say that he was crying. 

"Everything is changed and it's time we accept that", said Virat and turning off the lamp making the room dark. Rohit felt defeated at that, Virat not only refused to share but he also shut him out.

Next morning, 

Everything just felt into routine, Rohit did not get chance to talk to Virat as after breakfast, the Doctors arrived for Rohit's session. Virat just observed and then talked to the Doctors about Rohit's progress. 

"Is there any hope for you know?", asked Virat once they were out of Rohit's hearing range. He walked with help of Doctor till the lawn outside. 

"I am sorry Virat, there is no hope. You have to accept it", Doctor said patting his shoulder and left with his team. 

Virat just sat there on the bench still not ready to accept it. Rohit who had came back in the room with help of Shreyas noticed Virat sitting on the bench burying his head in his hands. 

Before he could tell Shreyas to call Virat, he saw Maya and Aman arriving there. Aman helped Virat inside in Rohit's room. 

Everyone left the room including Aman, it was Maya, Virat and Rohit in the room. 

"How are you feeling today Virat?", Maya asked softly taking her notepad out. 

Virat just stayed silent on that, his mind was occupied with what Doctor had said of having no hope. May be everything was like that, there was simply no hope of anything being ever normal let alone be okay with them. 

"Virat?", Maya called again but he was too lost to even register her voice or presence. Maya looked at Rohit and told him to get his attention. 

Rohit hesitantly touched his arm, "Vi?", he said softly to which Virat got out of his thoughts. 

"Dr. Maya is asking something", Rohit said gently not wanting to startle him. Virat looked at Maya who was waiting patiently for him to talk something, anything. 

"Is there really no hope?", Virat asked out of nowhere which Maya noted down, Rohit was confused why he was asking like that. 

Maya moved forward indicating she was listening, "What do you mean? Can you elaborate what made you think this?", she asked. 

"Hope of everything to be normal again, hope for the time when it stops feeling numb like this or it just stops hurting", said Virat feeling just so much pain and emptiness.

"It is hurting? What is hurting?", she asked wanting Virat to point out the specifics as much as he can, wanting him to open up about his feelings. 

Virat was so tired of all the questions, "I don't want to talk about it", he said. 

"Vi, just try once-- for me?", Rohit said softly. 

Virat looked at him with so much vulnerability that it broke Rohit's heart. 

"Not today please", Virat requested him to which Maya just noted what was going on, observed everything and left the room.