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"Well that was fun..." First chuckled as he zipped up his jeans and smoothed down his ruffled up hair. He turned to Mark, offering him a cigarette, which the wavy haired man rejected with a shake of a head.
"No thanks, I don't smoke." Mark slid of the car hood and leaned towards the side mirror to fix his hair. "Hey why can't we ever go to your place? I mean, sex outside is fun, but bed could be fun too."
"I live with someone, and it's not my place to bring anyone in." First sighed, blowing out a puff of smoke.
"Is that the singer? The one with the green jacket?" Mark looked up. "Is he your boyfriend?"
"No." First shook his head. "We had something, but...he's the monogamous type. I took too long to break up with my ex, and he didn't like that."
"And yet you still live together?" Mark scoffed. "That's a messed up situation."
"We're friends."
"Yeah, but not really." Mark leaned against his car. "He most likely has still feelings for you, and he's definitely hurting by having you in close proximity. What's your problem with monogamy?"
"I don't have a problem." First stubbed the cigarette against a nearby fence post and flicked it Ito the grass. "It's just not working for me. I like a lot of people, and really quickly. I can't help it. Even with you..."
"Even with me...what?"
First sighed. "I feel a connection. I know we've just been fooling around but it's been fun, even without the sex. Like when we were feeding the ducks the other day? I enjoyed it. But I can't change myself for someone if they want to be monogamous. I tried once, for three years. And I still couldn't do it."
Mark nodded in understanding. "So you cheated..."
"Yeah." First stuck his hands into his pockets. "And I loved him, very much, but at the end I was hurting us both. I felt guilty, of course I felt guilty, but I was also cowardly. I wanted him to break up with me first, so I wouldn't have to do it. That's why my relationships never work out. I'm a shitty person, so I can't really get into a serious relationship and have them expect me to change for them. So I harbour all these half hearted relationships..."
"Wow." Mark sat back into his car. "You really are a shitty person. But hey, at least now you live the life you want. Hey, for the record, I didn't expect relationship from you. I like people, but not love. I'm aromantic, I don't date."
