Christian Poems

Doesn't Make Sense

I know it doesn't make sense. I know I have no reason to feel the way I do, Lord. And I know I'm feeling this for a reason. To get over it. Mainly my own fault.

Why does my mind desperately need someone to cling to? It's ridiculous.  All these crushes...
Or, I guess better put- victims of my lust.

I know I have this problem.

Never thought I'd really get feelings for this guy. Although, it makes sense. He's a godly man. Christian. He's a strong Gospel spreader too. I enjoy talking with him at work. Some days he is the best thing about work. Our fellowship brightens my day.

I caught feelings because of a real kind compliment and it got big- fast. This is stupid, Lord.

We talked a lot and had a lot of good times.

But tonight, he shared a poem about a separating love and said it reminded him of a romance he had not too long ago.

Why do I get so quickly connected? Why the heck do I always let my heart lead? Why can't I just have self control? And heed Your warnings. Your convictions.

We have nothing more than a work fellowship. So why do I hurt? It makes no sense. Even if he did like me, I couldn't date him for a few reasons. So it doesn't make sense.

But what hurts just as much is I know the woman he speaks of. The romance. She's a friend of mine. But ever since I've met her, she hasn't spoken very kindly about him. I know no fond memories she may have with him. Just ones that have urked her. He most likely doesn't know she speaks this way.

If he still thinks about her, what if he found out that she doesn't reciprocate that. Im not saying he still has feelings for her. But still.

I'm hurt because of myself. And hurt on his behalf. This is utterly ridiculous. I still have a bit more work time before I can go home. Hopefully to spend more time with You, Lord, in secret. Maybe cry, we'll see.

It makes no sense to hurt. At least because of my feelings. Why do I do this to myself? Lord, help me. Help things make sense. Help me not fall for people. Help me to not be a slave to my mind and my own heart. The heart is deceiving.

Help me focus on You and Your word. My godly friends. My family. I just wanna be with You and live out the purpose You made for me. I want to be inseparable from You, always growing more and bearing fruits.

That's what will make sense. Because this sure doesn't. But I know You allow me a place to come before You with my feelings. No matter how much of it is by my own hand of disobedience.

Thank You, for being my safe place. For placing me under Your wings. Also, for using Your rod to bring me back home when I need it most. I'm sorry for being a lot more of the worldly me lately. Help me to focus my mind on the Kingdom. The only thing that matters.

The one thing that makes sense