Something More

Chapter 012

012

Audrey's POV

"But mom.. hindi po ba pwedeng 'wag na lang ako sumama?" 

Mom stared up at me. "Bakit naman, Audrey ija? Masaya naman ang field trips ah, at saka nakapaghanda ka na. Is there a problem? Are you sick?"

I shook my head. "Oh fine, sige na po. Bye." I kissed mom on her cheek.
"Bye," she waved goodbye at me.

So, field trip ngayon. I'm not really in the mood to go eh, I don't know. Pagod lang kasi kakatapos lang ng test namin for 2nd semester. And my head hurts a bit.

Sumakay na ako ng kotse doon sa tabi ni Xander. He's sleeping, kasi maaga pa eh. Maaga kasi aalis yung bus so we need to go there as early as possible. Well, Xander's not really a morning person.

Nakatitig lang ako sa mukha niya. He looks like an angel, I thought. So innocent.. so sweet. I smiled. At, hindi ko napansin na may tumulong luha na pala mula sa mata ko. Why am I feeling so sad? Kahit hindi ko man aminin, I feel so distant with Xander right now. Kahit nandyan lang siya sa tabi ko, feeling ko ang layo niya sa akin.. na hindi ko na siya mahabol. Since then, everything changed between me and Xander. Things between us aren't really the way they are before.

"Xander," I called at tinapik-tapik siya. "We're here." 

He mumbled something, tapos binuksan niya ang mga mata niya. "Oh, Audrey."
"Well, halika na. Bus 7, right?"

He nodded. Bumaba na kami sa kotse and he's watching me. I glanced at him, and when our eyes met, we both looked away. Thud, thud, thud, ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Ah, ano ba yan.

Pumasok na kami ng bus and nandoon na pala si Marielle. Seatmate ko siya, and Xander's sitting in front of us. Marielle smiled at me.

"Alam mo ba.. may sasabihin daw sa akin si Xander mamaya sa EK." bulong niya sa akin, sounding excited.

"Talaga?" I asked, playing innocent. I knew so well kung ano yun eh. You see, a couple of days before, nag-usap kami ni Xander tungkol kay Marielle. I told him to confess, and the perfect timing ay sa field trip. Xande hesitated at first, pero pumayag na rin naman siya. And today is the day.. and I decided that..

I'll let go of Xander. Well, wala na rin namang kwenta ang pag-ibig ko para sa kanya eh. It just hurt me a lot. A LOT.

"So, blah.. blah.. blah.." nag-chika chika lang si Marielle and I wasn't really listening. Ewan ko ba, wala lang talaga akong gana. We're eating our lunched here in La Mesa Ecopark, and from our place, I can see Xander with his friends, laughing. 

"Uhm, Marielle, I'll just go first, huh?" I told Marielle. Marielle nodded. May kasama naman siya eh, yung ibang girls kaya okay lang naman sa kanya. Well, kung something changed between me and Xander, ganun rin kay Marielle and me. We don't talk often na, and she started to hang out with the popular girls. Eh dahil sa hindi naman ako popular, laging OP ako. Kung mag-uusap man kami ni Marielle, it's all about Xander. Kaya nasasaktan lang ako.

I sighed. I guess, I'm forever alone na. Pumasok na ako ng bus and wala pang tao then, except the bus driver. Uupo na ako when I noticed na meron palang tao doon, and he was on the very last row, natutulog. And, I think he's familiar.

"Jared?" I called. Lumapit ako sa kanya. "Jared?"

He sat up, still yawning. Nang makita niya ako, he just stared at me weirdly and said flatly, "Bakit ka nandito?"
I shot him a look. "Bakit ka nandito? You're not from Section 1."

He shrugged. "Oo nga.. eh, hindi ka naman Section 3 ah."
"Huh? What do you mean?"

"This is.. section 3's bus." he smiled, "Wrong kingdom ka, Your Majesty."

I flushed. "Oops.. ehehe. Sorry, gotta go," I was about to walk out when he grabbed my hand. Hinila niya ako into him, and I was sitting on his lap. I turned to face him pero nagulat ako. He's close to me.. I can smell his breath. Which.. smells like mint candy.

"Audrey.." then mas nilapit niya pa ang mukha niya. GAHHH, namumula na ata ako, this is really awkward. Is he gonna kiss me? For reals. I tried to pull away from him, pero he's so strong eh, his grip in my hand so tight.

Tapos.. he leaned closer, and I closed my eyes. Then.. I was surprised na he didn't kissed me at all. Whew, thank God.
But, he did touch my forehead though, with his forehead din. 

"Why are you hot?" tanong niya.

"Huh..? Anong hot.." Hot, eh hindi naman ako hot.

"I mean, mainit." he replied.

I pulled away from him when he slowly let go of my hand. "Oh well, bye na nga."
He smiled at me, and raised his hand. "Bye."

I smiled back.

Nung nasa EK na kami, I don't feel going. So, pinauna ko na si Marielle doon. Well.. magco-confess na si Xander sa kanya. I'm so happy for them.. really.

But then.. tears started to flow. Ang sakit, pero kakayanin ko 'to. Xander is not mine, and will never be mine.

Xander's POV

"Yooo, EK na tayo!" Yeah, EK na, last destination at yung talagang pinakahinihintay namin. Scratch that. Nila pala.

I sighed. Kaylangan tapangan ko na. This is it. Aaminin ko na kay Marielle ang totoo. Bumaba na kami ng bus and I scanned the crowd, looking for Audrey. Hm, nasaan na yun?

"Marielle," tinawag ko si Marielle nang makita ko siya. When she saw me, she smiled shyly.
"Xander." 

"Um, nasaan na si Audie?" 

"Oh, nasa bus siya eh.. sabi niya hindi na daw siya baba. I think she's not feeling too well. Oh by the way.. diba may sasabihin ka sa akin?"

"Um, Marielle, may kukunin lang ako sa bus ah, kita na lang tayo sa entrance."

"Oh. Okay." sabi niya and nagmadali akong bumalik sa bus. Naglakad ako papuntang seat ni Audrey and there she is.. and I think she's crying.

"Audrey..?" I said, sabay tumabi sa kanya. She didn't face me, though, pero she wiped her tears and cleared her throat. "Umiiyak ka ba?"

"Ay hindi, ay hindi. Tumatawa ako." she said.

"Audrey.." hinawakan ko ang kamay niya, and nagulat ako. Ang init. I touched her forehead, at mainit talaga. "May lagnat ka."

"Oh.. ang sakit kasi ng ulo ko, I didn't get much of sleep last night."

"Sasamahan na lang kita dito."

"Huh? Uy, 'wag na. Diba magco-confess ka na kay Marielle? Go." she forced a smile.
I sighed. "Pero Audrey.. hindi ko gus---"

"Just go," she said, at umiiyak na naman siya. Bakit.. kaya?

"Audrey.."

"Xander, just go." she smiled faintly. "I'm fine."
"O sige.. see you," wala na akong choice eh, kaya bumaba na ako ng bus though I'm worried. Hinihintay ako ni Marielle doon sa entrance at pumasok na rin kami. We ride some rides, pero si Audrey lang ang iniisip ko.

"Anong susunod nating sasakyan?" Marielle asked me.

"Um, I'm tired." I said.

"Oh, ganun ba.." Nandito kami sa harapan ng Wheel of Fate. Lumubog na ang araw, ang it's so bright in here, with all those lights. I looked at her, and took a deep breath.

"Marielle, I have something to confess to you."

"Oh.. Xander.." she smiled. "I know that already. Obvious naman eh."

Talaga? So, she knows na I like Audrey? "You're not mad?"
"Huh? Bakit naman ako magagalit.. it's okay. Kahit na friends tayo.. okay lang sa aking ligawan mo ako."

"Marielle----"

"I love you, Xander."

Nalungkot ako. Masasaktan ko lang si Marielle. She loves me, but I don't love her. Mahal ko si Audrey, pero hindi niya naman ako mahal. Bakit ganun, kapag may mahal ka, hindi ka mahal. Pero pag mahal ka, hindi mo mahal. Ang gulo.

And I told her what suppose to be my words for Audrey. "I love you, too. All this time."