Something More

Chapter 031

Pagkauwi ko nang bahay, si Jared agad ang unang sumalubong sa akin. Mukhang kanina pa nga siya naghihintay dito eh, kasi talagang napatalon siya nang pumasok ako ng bahay. He touched my hand, held it, then smiled at alam kong nag-aalala siya. 

"So.. anong nangyari? Are you alright? Wala bang ginawa sa'yo yung Xander na 'yun? Did you two fight? What?"

Napangiti ako sa kanya. "Ano ba naman 'to, grabe maka-react. Okay, hinay-hinay lang ah. Walang nangyari, okay lang naman.. nothing extraordinary."

Hindi siya nakumbinsi sa sagot ko kahit na alam kong tamang-tama ang pagsabi ko nun. I let go of his hand and patted his shoulder. "Babe, please, ang tagal na nung sa amin ni Xander no. Don't tell me you're jealous?" I chuckled. "Haaaaay, pagod na ako. Gusto ko nang kumain ulit ng luto ni mama at---"

"Audrey." he said, cutting me off. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya, dahil sa tono pa lang ng pananalita niya, I know na seryoso siya. 

"Saka, ano, uh, oo nga pala! Bukas magkikita kami ni Marielle..."

"Audrey. Please." Okay, I'm done. Kaylangan ko siyang harapin. Napakaintimidating pa naman niya kapag nagagalit.

"Audrey," he said, his voice calmer now. "What exactly happened for the few last days you spent with Xander? May kaylangan ba kong malaman?"

I gulped. "W-wala naman. I told you, wala namang espesyal na nangyari eh..."

He looked at me in my eyes. I tried my best not to look away, pero grabe, nakukunsensiya ako. I don't want to lie to him... pero.. wala akong choice. Sino ba namang boyfriend ang 'di magagalit kung malaman niyang nakipaghalikan ang girlfriend nito sa iba, lalo na yung pinakamahigpit niyang karibal? OA na kung OA, pero kase... 

"Okay, hindi na ako magtatanong. Pero, Audrey, I trust you." he said. Oh please, lalo pa akong nagui-guilty neto eh. 

I nodded. He smiled faintly then tinulungan akong buhatin yung bagahe ko paitaas. "Ano nga pala, Audrey, um, can we meet tomorrow 5pm? Please?" he said.

"Syempre, of course. Boyfriend kita eh."

"Oh sige.. I gotta go." sabi niya.

I smiled. "Bye! I love you." nag-wave ako sa kanya at pababa na siya ng stairs. When he reached the bottom, he slowly turned his head to me. He had this sad smile on his face.

"I love you too, Audrey. So much.. that it hurts." 

Nawala ang ngiti sa mukha ko. I think he knows. He knows na hindi ko talaga siya mahal, he knows na may nangyari last night.. and he knows that I am still in love with Xander. He knew it.. alam niya all this time. Pero, kahit alam niya, hindi siya sumusuko...

because he loves me so much that it hurts him too.

Kinabukasan, nang mga 3 o' clock in the afternoon, I went out to the mall with Marielle. Nagkamustahan ulit, and nagkwento siya ng stuffs about her life. Tapos nang matapos na siyang magkwento... alam niyang malalim ang iniisip ko.

"At ano na naman yang iniisip mo, ha, Audrey?" ngiti niya habang sumubo sa carbonara niya. 

"Haha, eh kasi, may gumugulo sa isip ko eh.." I chuckled.

"I'll take a wild guess.. nagngangalang Alexander Joseph Martinez ba ito? Uy, bakit?"

Sasabihin ko ba? I know I can trust Marielle. Pero kase.. hay. I think okay lang namang malaman niya, since she's my best friend. "You know.. something happened between me and Xander last night." I said, and tried to catch my breath dahil sobrang kinakabahan talaga ako. 

She gasped. "Oh gosh, don't tell me na you... did "it" with him?"

I flushed red. "NO! Never! Marielle! 'Di yun.. kasi, ano, we kissed last night. And we told each other 'I love you's', and.. kaso,"

"Kaso?" 

"Kaso, sabi niya hindi na nga daw pwede. Remember, ikakasal na siya dun sa Elaine Seguerra diba? And may Jared ako."

"Then so what? Kung kayo naman talaga ang nagmamahalan, edi kayo na lang."

I smiled. "Wow, 'di naman ganun kadali yun no. Masasaktan namin sila. And Jared.. he loves me so much, kaya di ko kayang saktan siya eh."

"I get your point, pero Audrey.. lalo niyo lang sinasaktan sina Elaine and Jared eh. And Xander? He's gonna marry a girl he doesn't even love? I think that won't work out. He loves you.. and I'm sure kung makakasal man sila, maaga silang magkakahiwalay, and lalong masasaktan si Elaine kung malaman niyang dahil sa'yo. Now, do you want that to happen, huh?"

"No.."

Tumawa siya. "Eh yun naman pala eh! Kung ganun rin naman, Audrey, better clear things up hangga't maaagapan pa. Hindi yung kung kelan malala na, saka pa kayo kikilos. Decide now."

I nodded. Tama nga naman si Marielle. Hindi ko lubos maisip kung lalo pang tatagal 'tong sikretong ito.. at kung malaman nilang pinagsisinungalingan namin sila Jared at Elaine.. mas gugulo lang. Pero what should I do? Break up with Jared and be with Xander? Or.. just forget about my feelings for Xander and matutunang mahalin si Jared? Hindi ko alam..

Suddenly, I was surprised by a phone call. It was Jared. "Ah, excuse me lang Marielle ah, si Jared.." I stood up and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Audrey.. can you come here dito sa Yeti Plaza? And.. Xander, nasa Park siya.. dun sa may inyo.. I talked to him a while ago. Audrey, nag-usap kami at gusto namin parehong maayos ito at malaman kung sino ba talaga sa amin ang pipiliin mo. Kung sinoman ang pupuntahan mo ngayon.. ibig-sabihin.. Audrey.. yun ang pinipili mo. At ang hindi mapipili, lalayo na. Do you understand?"

I was speechless. Bakit ngayon? Masyado pang maaga... hindi pa ako ready...

"Okay, bye." he said, and hung up. 

What will I do? Anong gagawin ko..? Sinong pipiliin ko sa kanilang dalawa? 

"Hey, what happened Audrey?" Marielled asked behind me. I smiled at her and shook my head. "Kasi.. Marielle.. I have to choose now. As in NOW."

Ngumiti rin siya sa akin. "Talaga? Then what are you waiting for? Go now, Audrey. And, do not just follow your heart, lead it. Lead it to the person your truly love. At.. siguraduhin mong yung desisyon na gagawin mo, di ka magsisisi doon.. okay? Go!" 

"Ahh.. okay.. thanks Marielle!" I hurriedly went out the restaurant, and looked around me. To the right, doon ang way papuntang Yeti Plaza. Sa left naman sa may bahay namin, doon sa may park. Anong pipiliin kong daan? A decision that I won't regret... 

Pipiliin ko ba yung minamahal ko nang lubos at matagal ko nang inaasam na makapiling... o yung taong sobrang minamahal ako kahit sobra na siyang nasasaktan? 

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. As I opened it, for like after 3 seconds, I looked at that way. Ito ang tamang bagay na dapat kong gawin. I gotta lead my heart to this. And I know, ito rin ang desisyon na 'di ko pagsisisihan...

I quickly walked to my right, to the Yeti Plaza.