You're on, Jeon • JJK

25~ Her First Love

"Siri?? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

Jackson looked at her with concern as he could see she had been crying. He couldn't believe his ex-girlfriend— his first love— was here on his doorstep the day after he broke things off with her sister. His heart was racing, but he had to think of Siri first since her eyes became more glossy while she stood there.

"Jackson..." Siri croaked with a shaky breath, thinking about why she was here on her ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

Not long ago she was crushed to find a pretty petite girl opening the door to Jungkook's home. Then her heart broke when she saw all the hickies on the girl's neck. Siri automatically assumed Jungkook had a girl over since she knew he was the only one meant to be home.

Siri drove around the city aimlessly with tears in her eyes, hating Jungkook while believing him to be a liar. He told her he didn't need sex every night, and yet he obviously couldn't go 24 hours without having some new pussy.

He told her she was the best and that he loved having sex with her, and yet there was a new girl in his home with proof that he enjoyed her. Siri then thought about how Jungkook probably called that girl 'baby' and told her she had the best mouth and the best pussy. It made her feel sick and stupid for ever believing him.

Jungkook had charms and he knew how to woo girls. He knew the right things to say to make a girl feel good. He's a fuckboy, after all. Siri felt foolish for letting her walls down around him and for trusting him.

She felt disappointed in him, but she was more so disappointed with herself for getting her hopes up and for thinking she had something special with Jungkook. She now believed she wasn't different from the other girls; she felt she wasn't anything special.

Siri thought maybe that girl she saw was special to Jungkook 'cause she realised on her drive that she's never even worn one of his shirts before or drank his banana milk, but that girl was able to.

Of course I'm nothing special to him. Of course whatever connection we had during this weekend didn't mean anything to him. Of course I'm just another one of his girls.

And then Siri's thoughts drifted to how Jungkook could move onto the next girl so fast. Never mind the why. Siri knows why. It's 'cause he can. He's single. He's hot. He's got lots of options. Rather than why did he do it, it would be more like 'well why not do it?'

But the 'why' didn't matter. Siri wanted to know how he could move on so fast. Was I not that satisfying? Was being with me too much? Was I not enough for him?

What is it about me that makes people want to leave? Am I only fuckable? Am I not lovable?

Siri's past insecurities came back to taunt her. The questions she had back when she caught Jackson cheating were the same questions she had now. That's why she ended up on Jackson's doorstep. She needed to know what was wrong with her so she could work on herself. Maybe then she would be good enough for someone to stay and want more with her.

However, on her way to Jackson's place, Siri heard her phone go off. She saw it was Jungkook asking if he could come over and it made her get a bitter feeling in her chest. She figured he just wanted to hang out after getting his fill of sex from the other girl, but she didn't want to be near him knowing he was with someone else not long ago.

She replied to Jungkook saying she wasn't home and then she muted him, silencing his notifications so she didn't have to see his name pop up. She didn't want that ache in her heart to keep coming back with the sight of his name.

She actually had half a mind to block his number, but it's not like Jungkook did anything wrong since they weren't together or anything. He's allowed to sleep around. She just didn't like that he did it so soon after her.