My Breath || S. B.

34. Hate to Love

"What's this?" Sirius held up the book in his hand.

"I did not give you permission to look through my things, Black," Junia marched towards him and snatched the book away. She was shocked that it was not the book she had read, but the notebook she had taken out from the shoebox to examine. It was Tom Riddle's diary.

"Your things?" Sirius furrowed his brows.

Junia looked away, putting the diary down on her desk.

"Why do you have that?" Sirius pointed at the diary.

"I cannot tell you why, but there is nothing for you to be concerned about," Junia replied.

"A property that belongs to someone who is currently the most dangerous threat in our continent is in your room. It's definitely something I should be concerned about, Junia," Sirius retorted. "I could feel the dark power just by holding it."

"I'm sorry, Black. I cannot tell you yet until I know which one of your friends is the mole," Junia said.

"Oh, please. You believe Regulus?" Sirius asked again.

Junia didn't answer.

"Did he also give you that book? Tell you to protect it and keep it safe for his master?"

"Stop with questions," Junia warned. "And yes I do believe him."

"So you trust him when he is evidently choosing to work for Voldemort, yet you don't trust me?" Sirius nodded slowly.

"Sirius," Junia began. "Don't make this difficult."

"But it is difficult, isn't it, Junia?" Sirius sighed.

"He is your brother, and he is my friend. I trust him with my life," Junia continued. "I am not telling you until I find out who the mole is, because I am not willing to risk it. And I do not want you to go against any of your friends because of this so please just leave this be. I know what I'm doing."

"I will not go against my friends because I trust them, and I know for sure that no one is a mole," Sirius said. "And your refusal to tell me is suspicious, Junia."

"What? You think I'm dealing with the dark arts?" Junia scoffed.

"Actually, I've always suspected you," Sirius said. "I stopped my suspicion at some point and now I'm beginning to regret it."

"Suspect all you want, you are not getting anything out of me. And as I said this does not concern you."

"Whatever is going on with my brother..." Sirius began in frustration. "Whatever this whole thing is, it's senseless. Because no one in their right minds would keep things like that on their bedside table."

"Disregard us all you want, just know that we are not as reckless as you are and we actually have a plan. That's why none of us comes back home with scars every week," Junia retorted

"You think I don't have a plan?"

"If you do, why don't you tell me? You never tell me anything! I don't even know what you do at work."

"I do as Dumbledore says, he knows the most about this. You also refuse to tell me about what you're doing with Regulus, so I think I'm entitled not to tell you about what I am doing," Sirius said walking closer towards Junia.

"So you're saying that you're just one of his puppets?"

"I simply trust him. He is better than your puppeteer anyway."

Junia shook her head, "I don't have one! And so does your brother. It's all part of our plan. I just can't tell you yet."

"Why do you trust my brother so much?" Sirius asked his eyes, speaking words he couldn't say.

"Because he knows things you don't. And more importantly, he seems to understand me more when it comes to boundaries," Junia said sternly.

"If that's the case, why don't you just get married to him?" Sirius blurted out loud.

"Well, unfortunately, for the both of us, you happen to be the problem I need to solve."

Sirius slowly stepped back, pain clearly inflicted on his face. "Did my mother tell you that?"

Junia frowned, realising what she had said, which she knew she didn't mean. "Sirius. I'm sorry."

Sirius nodded, "It's fine. That's what most people think of me anyway. I just thought you weren't part of them, but I suppose I have made a foolish judgement for myself."

"Sirius, I didn't mean it."

Sirius shook his head as he walked out of her room, "I'm sorry for trying to look out for you."

He paused one last time by the door, "You know, I really did like you."

Junia couldn't get herself to say anything else at those words. She wished she could tell him but that would interfere with her plan, and saving the world seemed more important than saving herself.

So he left.

For days.

And nights.

And she was all alone.