Valor

Chapter 43

*ok I wanted to split this next part into two different chapters sooo. two short chapters today and maybe 44 later tn if I get it out!! this is a long ass book sorry if thats not the vibe u want I like the build....steamy next chapter ;)

"He left this?" I ask as I re-read the letter for the billionth time. When Mav handed it to me I was shaking, almost falling into a panic attack, but now it just feels like a weight in my hand. A letter isn't going to kill me, but the man behind it will.

No I don't actually believe he'll kill me. He'll just kill anyone associated with me to break me and then keep me locked away like some princess or jewel he needs to protect. The only difference from last time is that I have a prince out there looking for me. Four in fact.

Actually scratch that Marco would've killed them, so i guess its exactly the same.

I actually think i vomit in my mouth a little from calling these guys my princes. I was kind of fixated on the idea at fourteen because it was the easiest to imagine, but now it feels silly as hell.

First off why am i resorting to a man to come save me and second these men are the complete opposite of princes. They're the villains in the story.

The scary thing is that villains always lose in fairy tales and I have an eerie feeling that that is exactly what's going to happen.

I told Mav this and he brushed it off. He really doesn't think he could lose? Against Marco?

I'd like to think it was possible, but I don't think it is. Call me a pessimist but I am the one who lived with him for four years. I've seen up close who he is and the power he commands.

"You didn't tell us about the messages." Kai says from across the table, his arms crossed and his eyes staring directly into mine as if he's picking apart my soul.

I bounce uneasily on my feet. I know I hid the messages from them which put them in danger, not just me. It was selfish but I didn't want them to know Marco had found me.

First off I would have to tell them it was Marco all along and that would've been death for me. Even now with them knowing it's killing me. They have their minds set on taking him down to protect me and them, but thats literally impossible.

Sometimes I wonder if I could save them by simply turning myself over but then I remember Marco is insane and that wouldn't work. Also I have no intention of being some self sacrificial hero.

"I accept blame for that, I should've told you, but you have to think about that from my perspective. Marco is my abuser. I can barely stomach the fact that he knows where I am now!" I say throwing my arms up in the air. I'm begging them with my eyes to understand. This man scares the shit out of me no matter how strong I seem. Maybe it's because I was fourteen when it all went down or maybe it's because I gave literally every part of myself to him.

At some point amongst my captivity I genuinely let myself believe I chose it and loved him. I was so far gone mentally that I gave in completly. To the devil himself.

Onyx lets out a breath. "We get it Lilah, just no more secrets ok?"

I suck in a breath. I have so many secrets that I refuse to share with anyone. There are some parts of my life especially the parts with Marco that I can't tell them.

They think they want to know but they don't. Casey was the only one who knew everything and she promised me she would take it to the grave and I guess she did.

I remember the day I told her all that shit. The look on her face, the shock, the disgust, the horror, the...pity.

I can't have them look at me like that.