Valor

Chapter 68

*super short chapter. I'll publish a second later tonight *hopefully* next chapter is gonna be city vibes and the beginning of the end...muahahha

Onyx

As we get back into the car I can't help but look at Lilah. She looks..releived almost and damn it if that doesn't make my heart shatter and stitch itself back together so quickly I barely notice it.

She's been through so much, and I can tell this day alone has drained her regardless of the information we got.

Almost as if she can feel my stare on her she turns to face me, the relived look on her face slowly changing to annoyance.

"Not a word Onyx. None of the others need to know about all of this. They'll only worry and demand more info. It's not like it means anything."

I give her a nod which hurts more than it should. A part of me wants to be happy that she asked me to take her here and intrust me with this information, but it doesn't last long.

We don't talk at all as we drive back to the cabin, a soft flurry beginning to fall as we round the dirt bend.

The others aren't back yet and when i glance at the clock I notice it's only mid afternoon. They sent me a text when we were at the clinic that told me they wouldn't be back until dinner time. I don't want to admit how happy that makes me. Knowing Lilah needs time alone right now, I let her ascend the staircase without a word as I head into the kitchen and pour myself a large glass of whiskey.

Fuck this day has gotten away from me, and the fact that we head back into the city tomorrow only makes it worse.

It doesn't feel that long ago that I met Lilah in Mav's office. She came in without a care in the world, staring at us with wide eyes. Internally I wanted to scold her for letting her emotions show so easily, but when I learned she was Ghost, I guess that annoyance disappeared. Now, I wonder how that mask is going to work with my brothers.

God, I don't keep secrets from them. This is going to eat me alive, especially when I know how hard Lilah is going to be crashing internally.

It doesn't matter the relief she felt, or the anger, or the sadness. It was all a range of emotions that frankly I will never understand.

I can't help but sit on the couch and look around the cabin with a new perspective. There are a few pictures decorating the shelves and mantles showcasing pictures of me and my brothers as babies and children. Some of us fishing or playing in the snow. There's one of my mother anf father on their wedding day which was always my favorite. They looked so in love, I couldn't help but idolize it. As a child I wanted it, but after what happened with Katy, I let that dream die.

Now, knowing Lilah, that dream crept itself back into my head. The pictures of me and my brothers take on new faces.

Faces of babies with blue eyes and chestnut hair. It's crazy to think that I'll never have that. This world isn't meant for shit like that, at least from the life I live with my brothers. I know Lilah feels the same way and maybe that was part of the relief she felt.

I take a big gulp of my whiskey and think back to my time at the cabin before my dad passed. I always loved coming here, especially with my dad. My younger brothers were too little to come, so they stayed in the city with my mom which gave me all the attention from my dad. As I got older, I took up the babysitter role which i hated with a passion.

When my dad died, we were older but my youngest brother, Clint, was still a kid. I was suddenly the father figure for him.

I will always regret not taking him up here the way my father did for me. Even christmases here dwindled after dad passed and I doubt Clint even remembers this place.