Valor

Chapter 46

*sry I didn't post this yesterday...shortish chapter compared to my others so stay tuned for the next one!! big things are happening...still a TON of surprises to happen and I apologize but we are FAR from over 

Maverick

I've always dealt with anxiety. When I was little I was anxious that my dad's beatings would kill my mom. I was anxious that I would die before I was sixteen. I was anxious when I opened the club or when I first when into business with the hardcore drug dealers.

It's something I've always struggled with but I learned at a young age that you can't show it. You can't show how the burning in yout gut is swallowing you whole. Any show of weakness will get you killed.

The only time I let my anxiety run wild is when I'm alone. I never let my brothers see. They would take it upon themselves to fix it or help me in a way and I can't allow that. They look up to me for so much.

So here I sit in my office with a glass of whiskey in hand, my eyes glazed as I stare at the wall wondering where I went wrong.

I've gone over our plans for tomorrow with a fine tooth comb and although everything seems 'ok' I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Lilah has been adamant that this is going to be far from easy and we're most likely to fail tomorrow. She knows Marco better than all of us so I should trust her judgement, but I don't want to.

Lilah thinks we're going after Marco because of the threat he poses to her and us, but doesn't she realize that our main driving force is the shit he did to her?

He destroyed her. For five weeks she locked herself away because of him.

She asked us to let her die because of him.

There is nothing more in this world that I want than to slice Marco's throat, but Lilah is right. It won't be easy.

So I sip on my whiskey and think.

If this plan doesn't work we'll be back to square one with an even bigger target on our backs.

The one thing I don't get is why Marco is waiting this game out. He has more than enough manpower to come into this house guns abalazing and take Lilah for himself while killing us in the process.

Lilah said he feeds on fear and pain and I can't help but think this is all apart of the fucked up game he's playing. He wants Lilah to be scared. He wants her to go everyday looking over her shoulder wondering if he's going to grab her.

I tell Lilah it's all going to be ok, but in truth I don't believe it. If he gets his hands on her, then she is as good as gone. He won't let her go and trying to go and rescue her is near impossible. She'd be locked in to a lifetime of torture, rape, and abuse.

A few nights ago I asked her the type of things he did to her, and she told me it was better that I didn't know. I wanted to torture myself so I told her I needed to know. I needed even more fuel to go after the bastard.

...

"You've seen the scars Mav. Electrical burns, cigarette burns, knives. He's broken bones, punctured my lung, dislocated my knees and shoulders. I've been waterboarded and sleep deprived. They made me eat their cum and drink their piss. That was worse than being starved."

"And raped." I murmered, holding her closer in my arms. I guess I need the closeness as if it will drown out the screaming in my head after hearing all of this.