THIRD POINT OF VIEW
Beyoncé lay in bed by herself, her mother and sister allowing her to gain her strength back. From all the tears she shed she was bound to be dehydrated in the morning. But as of now she focused on sleeping. That's all she could allow herself to do. She slept no matter who came in the room.
Whether her mom came to give her food. Or whether she came to pray with her. She stayed in bed pretending to be asleep. This is all she could
handle at the moment. The four lonely walls that kept her inside. It was the only thing she found comfort in.
At this moment in time she wanted one person. But she felt as if she didn't deserve that person. She wanted to text onika, but she knew she was busy. They hadn't talked in a while, it was radio silence on both ends. With what happened with Reed she was scared. She wanted the next time they spoke to be her explaining the kiss they shared.
Bur she was scared she would lose the love of her life. Onika wasn't bound to stay after all the shit Beyoncé put her through. And she was so sure of it. No matter how much onika tried Beyoncé gave her such a tough time. She said she didn't trust onika, but she honestly didn't even trust herself anymore.
The blonde cried more as she curled into her pillow. Her mind wandering to Onika, she wondered which girl she probably was with. There were prettier girls than Beyoncé. They weren't crazy like she was. They weren't insecure, closed off, confusing. They were probably perfect and that's what onika wanted. That's what she needed in Beyoncés mind.
And Beyoncé couldn't be perfect in the end. So there was no point anymore. She didn't want to put this on onika. Didn't want to put more on her plate. But she needed to fix herself before she seen her again. So the blonde did what she thought was best. Grabbing her phone she called onika, of course the phone went straight to voicemail.
Beyoncé gulped sending a text she knew she would regret. But she couldn't handle a relationship right now. Because in the end she would just overthink and ruin it. She wiped her tears even though they kept coming. Calling onika again, the voicemail box giving her a ring, she spoke.
"Hey, onika. I love you so much. I really do, but I don't deserve you. I've been so lost in everything, and I— I cheated. There was this boy, his name is Reed. I thought— I knew he liked me but I didn't want to believe it. I'm not— I'm not anything to want, anything to fawn over I don't— he kissed me. And— and after I did slap him but it's the fact that I let it get that far. And we hung out again, and he k-kissed me again. I don't— Im sorry. I'm not a good girlfriend, everyone's going around saying we had sex. We didn't he just kissed me. I would say not to believe them, but everyone is already convinced I'm some slut anyway. And I wouldn't put it past you if you hated me now. I'm not much of a big fan of myself either. But— but I want to get better it's just hard. Being in Houston all these eyes on me I feel like I'm going crazy I— I'm talking a lot. I'm sorry I love you so much. You're the only person who ever stayed with me through the good and bad. You've always seen the good in me even when I never seen the good in myself. And I wanna say thank you. God I can't stop crying im sorry. I'm so so sorry I'm. I don't wanna break up with you but— it's best right? I can't keep confiding in other people right? I don't know I'm gonna go. But I do love you, bye. Bye I love you."
Onika sat back the voicemail spilling from her phone speaker. Her facial expression completely blank as she licked her bottom lip. Sinking farther into the couch as the woman in front of her stared.
Onika had listened to the voicemail maybe twenty times. She found it absolutely hilarious and sort of cute that Beyoncé tried to break up with her. But that wasn't going to work, she was crazy if she thought onika would just let her go. Especially after what she did, Beyoncé was actually more naive than onika thought.
