Girls Love Beyoncé

43

BEYONCÉ G KNOWLES

Once we got off the phone with Carol the energy in the car changed. I thought we were going to turn around and go back to the house. But onika kept driving I was a little confused asking her where we were going. Maybe she was at the church or at a friend's house.

But onika didn't answer me. She just kept driving her leg bouncing as a frown grew on her face. I knew she was increasingly getting upset but I didn't know what for. This is where the communication needed to get better on our part. Because I could only think the worst thing possible.

"Baby what's wrong?" I grabbed her hand pulling it toward my lap. Intertwining them together I could see her face scrunch.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I shook my head I didn't believe her. I've known Onika for years and any time she was sad about something she'd always say nothing was wrong.

But if she were angry you'd hear from her. So I knew this was serious and that made me terrified.

"Talk to me baby, it's okay it'll all be okay." I kissed her hand staring up at her. She gazed in my eyes before nodding her head. In an instant I could see tears clouding her vision.

"Take a deep breath baby." Her grip on my hand tightened as she inhaled a bit. I reached over to wipe her tears. Running my thumb over her hand as we drove in silence.

I wanted us to get to our destination before we spoke. Our safety was my priority so I waited. Letting her know I was here I was present. But giving her that chance to breathe before she decided to talk to me.

It took us maybe another five minutes before we were pulling into a hospital. And that's when my heart fell further into my stomach. She parked falling back into her seat. Her hands covering her face as she sniffled a bit.

"I know it may be a lot right now. If you wanna talk about it I'm here for you baby." I rubbed her thigh trying to keep myself from crying.

"We'll only talk if you wanna talk." She nodded her head quickly getting out the car. I could only sigh knowing she was going through it inside.

I wanted her to be able to confide in me. She'd always been my safe place and I wanted to be hers. But things have changed and unfortunately I couldn't make her trust me. I couldn't make her give me her secrets. I could only wait until she was ready and I felt shame on my part.

I unbuckled my seatbelt the moment she opened my door. Helping me out she held my hand tightly. She didn't say a word guiding me across the street and into the hospital. I was praying that we were here for a family friend and not who I think it was.

But sadly we were here for the woman who raised me as if I were her own child. My tears falling as I rushed toward the bed. Ms Carol had a smile on her face but this wasn't pleasant at all. I didn't understand why no one told me she was in the hospital.

"Are you okay? I- what's going on?" She was only giggling holding my hand tightly. I leaned down some and she cupped my face with a pout.

"Oh you're just growing into a beautiful woman." She cooed causing my eyebrows to raise. She was in the hospital with an IV in her arm and tubes going up her nose and she was talking about me?

"Don't worry about me child sit down." She chuckled. I was just shocked completely didn't even know what to say.

Onika walked past me kissing her mom's cheek. Examining her face and tucking her in. The whole time her mom had a stank face which made me smile. But onika wasn't smiling and that made mine fall.

"I don't know what your uncle has you doing but I don't like it! You're all so gloomy and serious baby lighten up. She boring you with her gloomy face Yonce?" I shook my head grabbing her hand.