ᴋɪʟʟ ʙɪʟʟ / ᴛ. ᴛᴏᴅᴏʀᴏᴋɪ

³⁷

⁂

from the moment you returned back to your home, you hadn't been able to get up from the bed. your pillow was drenched in your tears, as you sobbed non-stop.

you were feeling everything at once; fear, betrayal, sadness, agony, heartbreak. you didn't know how to calm yourself down.

the second you heard a knock on your bedroom door, you knew. a part of you didn't want to see touya and hear his excuses· yet, the other part was so desperate to see and talk to him.

"i understand that i'm the last person you want to see right now, but, i think you deserve an explanation" he said, as he carefully opened the door.

you contemplated whether or not to throw your pillows at him, but you voted against it.

"you're a fucking hypocrite!"

"how dared you get all crazy when i didn't tell you about hawks, which was insignificant, when you were keeping him a secret?"

"i should've told you, i know!"

"then why didn't you, touya?"

"i wanted to protect you!"

"no, you didn't! you were scared i'd leave if you told me!"

you got up from the bed and walked towards him.

"so, you kept the truth from me in order to keep me to yourself! and i know exactly why; because i'm the first person who actually looked at you the way you wanted to and more!"

"y/n—"

"the only thing i ever asked of you was to not hide anything important from me. you agreed to it! hence, you told me about the war! a literal war!"

"and you kept the person i hate the most in this world a secret? and all because of your own stupid, selfish reasons?"

"i didn't want you to leave me!"

"i wouldn't! i would've appreciated your honesty, and even thank you for telling me!"

"but, no! i had to find out in the worst way possible!" you added, looking at him.

touya was looking at you, the redness in your eyes increasing the more you cried. at that moment he knew that everything you had was gone forever.

"i'm sorry. i should've been more honest with you! i shouldn't have lied to you, i know!"

he walked closer and took your hand in his, before placing your phone in it. he turned to leave, but your words stopped him.

"was this even real to you?"

"it was"

"i would've given you anything, touya... but you just—"

"you know, y/n... you're right. i did use you" he interrupted you.

"i was using you, at first. i took advantage of your kindness and planned on keeping you around so i would have an excuse to escape and not be with the league"

"and i loved it. i loved the fear you were trying to mask at the very start. i loved all the attention you were giving me. i loved how i could easily use you for anything i wanted"

"but, then i let my guard down and grew fond of you. i found myself enjoying your presence, no matter how hard i was trying to deny it"

"yet, from the moment you told me about your parents, i decided to lie to you. i made an agreement with everyone to not mention all for one to you, so you wouldn't go away"

"even he had agreed"

"you made an agreement... with this monster?"

"he was always there, y/n. he was listening to you and watching you from that laptop, everytime you were on our hideout. but, because of the agreement, he wasn't revealing himself"

"then... why did he do it now?"

"he couldn't have me being with you, instead of focusing on the upcoming war"

"after all, he was right; you're not the reason i joined them"