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you were walking back home from the hospital, keigo promising to visit you as soon as he could.
your phone vibrated in your hand and you looked down, eyes widening at the contact name.
"himiko, are you alright? i've been trying to reach you for days!"
"i'm fine, y/n! i just didn't have signal"
"how are you doing?" she added.
"nevermind me... how are you doing?"
"not really good, y/n. it's been... pretty sad lately"
"i'm so so sorry, himiko... i wish i knew about it. i would've told you so you could be there to save him"
"but what about hawks then? would you be just fine knowing that you helped us, and led him to his possible death?"
"don't do this to me, himiko... please..."
"it already hurts, right now... knowing that i'm mostly the reason behind his scars..."
"y/n... do you like him?"
"what?"
"do you like hawks?"
you stayed silent, holding the phone tighter against your ear.
"is he the reason you broke up with touya?"
"what? no! of course not!"
"all for one wasn't really the reason, was he?"
"he... wasn't" you sighed.
"if he was the main reason for my breakup, then... i wouldn't be talking to you right now"
"you kept him a secret from me, too. i hated the fact that you lied to me, and i still do, but my friendship with you was something i didn't want to lose"
"but, you know... it hurt way more with him... i shared everything with him and i thought, after a while, he did, too..."
"i was willing to forgive him for it, because i deemed our relationship way more important than this stupid thing, but... he didn't look like he tried to save it"
"so i ended up giving up on us..." you continued.
"and now what?"
"i... i went for the person who was always there· just to ignore the pain i feel. i created moments with him in the same places i have memories with touya, just to make myself feel better"
"but, he cares so much... he cares so much it hurts me. i don't know why he's like this... he should have hated me after finding out. but he's still the nicest person to me and i feel so bad"
"why feel bad, y/n?"
"i'm an awful person, himiko"
"i lied to him when he asked me if touya knew his name. i kept truths from him because i wanted to protect the league"
"and now he's all hurt because of me"
"he deserves it. he killed jin"
"y/n, how did you even feel when you saw that? he was your friend, too"
"i cried and sobbed so hard. i couldn't keep it in"
"yet, you still run to check if hawks is okay"
"yes, because we both view him differently, himiko"
"when you look at him who do you see? because i see a traitor who took you and jin away from me" she spat out.
