At Long Last (OC x Natasha Romanoff)

Chapter 33

Nat POV

What the hell are you doing? Why would you do that? It was bad enough that we woke up the way we did, still surprised that she was okay with "it", but I just had to go and kiss her. What the hell was I thinking? I was the one that said I wanted to take things slow. This was not the definition of slow. At this rate, we will be sleeping together by tomorrow. I was lost in my thoughts, absentmindedly playing with Artemis's fur. I was not paying attention to our surroundings at all when Alex stopped in the middle of the woods. She laid down by a tree and I got off her back. She looked at me and then sniffed at the small bag I was carrying that had the tracker, clothes and a few other things we may need in it. I opened the bag and pulled out the extra clothes. Alex took them in her mouth then ran behind a bush. Next thing I know, human Alex walked out and sat down next to me.

Alex: "You know, your thoughts were really loud."

Nat: "So you can read minds now?"

Alex: "No, well not yet at least. You were just thinking so hard, I could feel it. Nat what's wrong?"

Nat: "Nothing's wrong."

Alex: "Please don't shut us out. Talk to us, we can figure it out together."

Nat: "I just feel this pull. I really wasn't ready to kiss you like that, but my body just did it. Not saying I didn't like it, but I wasn't ready. I wanted to take things slow, and this is not slow." I ranted.

Alex: "Okay, take a breath. We can slow things down. I have no problem with that. And I was kind of afraid this would happen."

Artemis: "I apologize for nothing."

Alex: "Damn it Artemis! Sorry, ignore her. Stupid wolf."

Nat: "What were you afraid of?"

Alex: "It's the mate bond. It forces mates together, it's hard to ignore it."

Nat: "So these are not my real feelings, I'm just being forced into this?"

Alex: "No, no nothings forced. If you didn't have these feelings, you would be able to reject us and walk away."

Nat: "So I can live with the fact I killed you by breaking your heart?"

Alex: "Ok, none of this is coming out right. Let me explain it better."

Nat: "Please."

Alex: "The mate bond is a powerful force that pulls two wolves together. The Moon Goddess only gives us one mate in our lifetime. Most wolves never even meet their mates. So, the attraction of the mate bond in wolves isn't hard for us to fight, per say because we are drawn together. I've never really heard of a wolf and human mate though, but I'm sure it has happened before. Anyway, you are not "programmed," not the right word but using it anyway, like I am. I want you to have a choice. I want to have a life with you, but I will not force or rush this. The bond may be trying to force us together, but I want us to go at your speed. Not what the bond wants. I feel like I'm making this worse."

Nat: "Let me see if I have this right. You just answer yes or no. You are made to love me?"

Alex: "Yes"

Nat: "I am not made to love you."

Alex: "Yes and no... You don't have to love me, but the Moon Goddess matched us together as mates."

Nat: "So because I'm not a wolf, I could fight this and reject you?"

Alex: "Yes but I really hope you don't"

Nat: "Is it possible to even slow this bond thing down."

Alex: "Not that I know of, but like I said, I've never seen a human- wolf couple before. So, I don't really know."

Nat: "I can't go at this pace. It's too fast. I can't love or be loved." All the times I've been told that in the Red Room come back and flood my brain. I felt Alex take my hands.

Alex: "Hey, hey. Nat stop, please. Who told you, you can't be loved?"

Nat: "I grew up being told that. The Red Room drilled it into my brain, especially Madam B. She always said I was a freak and that no one could love me because of how I was born. Then though training we were all taught that loving others made you weak. As a graduation ceremony they even sterilized the girls to make it easier. They made sure the one thing that might come in between us, and a mission never happened.

Alex: "Nat I will always love you. I don't want you to leave me, but if you need to, I will understand."

Nat: "I don't want to leave you, but I can't keep going at this rate."

Alex: "How about this. We spend time together during the day. We get to know each other, even the dark parts neither of us really want to talk about, but if we are going to try this, we need to know. At night, we spend time apart. No sleep overs until we are both ready. I promise no more surprise kisses from Artemis until you are ready. We force things to slow down, until we are both ready for the next step."

Artemis: "I object!"

Alex: "Sorry, I'll deal with her later."

Nat; "Okay."

Alex: "Okay?"

Nat: "Yeah, we can do that. It sounds good actually." I smiled at Alex until a thought from earlier came to mind. "What do you mean you can't read minds, yet." Alex gave a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of her neck.

Alex: "Well, it's kind of part of the whole wolf and bond thing. Eventually, we will both be able to read each other's mind. But that's a long way away."

Nat: "How long?" Alex rubbed the back of her neck again and looked anywhere but at me.

Alex: "oncewecompletethematingritual."

Nat: "What?"

Alex: "oncewecompletethematingritual."

Nat: "Alex, I swear to god, stop mumbling under your breath."

Alex: "Once we complete the mating ritual."

Nat: "Which is what exactly?"

Alex: "Just think about it for a minute. Anyway, we should go before Clint comes." Alex quickly went back behind the bush and transformed back into her wolf form.

I thought about what the mating ritual could be, when it hit me. Yeah, we are not even close to that stage yet. At least if the stupid bond doesn't force us into it. Once Alex came back out in her wolf form, she laid back down and let me get back on her back. I could get used to this. Alex stood back up once I was securely on her back and sniffed the air. She started to run further into the woods. The quick action made me grab the fur on the scruff of her next a little harder. After running for a few minutes, she slowed down to a trot as we approached a small clearing. I sat up higher as she got lower to the ground. Looking over some of the bushes could see the herd. About 50 Yards away, was a huge buck. I followed Alex's lead and laid down on her back to avoid being seen. Alex had laid down and signaled for me to get off. Once fully off her back, she darted out towards the buck. It was dead, before I even had a chance to flee.

Alex quickly moved onto two more close by deer, before stopping and looking back at me, with her tail wagging and her tongue hanging out to the side of her mouth. She looked so proud of herself. I laughed and took out my tracker signaling to Clint where we were and waited. He must have been just out of ear shot since he drove up to us on the four-wheeler a few minutes later. 

Clint: "Well damn."