Belongs To Him

28 | Back for that bite

Alina Windsor
Four years ago

Maybe today is the day I finally curse off this holiday. Because even in college I'm alone in my dorm binge watching some movie that's not even spooky.

I stopped enjoying Halloween in middle school. When it was no longer cool to go trick or treating with my parents. But not having any friends ended the hunt early on. In highschool I never found myself at a stupid party because of sports and now in college when I figured things to be different. They remain the same, with me sad and alone.

The only party I'm invited to is Matt's but that's because Aiden's there. It was evident he liked me and I was surprised that Matt seemed to be okay with the idea of us. He was cute, I'd give him that.

However, I think I'd rather die than be touched by a man at this point. I think I'll join a convent and become a nun at this rate. I haven't even kissed a man before and I'm 18.

Which is fine, maybe.

It's a twist between the two I get lost in. The half that validates it and the other half that burdens me with it, as in my siblings versus my best friends.

Townes also hated this holiday. That's why she went home and sulked with her mum. There was something fucked up mentally on Halloween and I wasn't quite sure what it was. But for me a it's a dreadful holiday.

Matt: it could be fun and, there are mojitos.

Alina: it could be bloody miserable and there could be pong.

He always tried to get me more excited on this holiday. For some reason it peaked my depression, for a holiday so joy-some for others.

It wasn't until I was eight that I was even allowed to trick or treat. My elder siblings really didn't get to either, Mum hated Halloween and all that it stood for.

Matt: Come on, I know some people who want to see you. Bring Viv or something.

Alina: pay me and I'll come!

There, that would settle it. He wouldn't shut up if I didn't. Now I needed to continue watching the actress who I was convinced was originally Julie Andrew's, be a witch to her witch grandkids in some spooky town.

My phone buzzes and as I look down I almost want to throw up.

Venmo
Aiden Ashton paid you $50.00
Give me a chance? - Aiden

I should just take the money and run. But I can't, because someone's putting fifty down for me to show up. I can't turn that down. Well, doesn't that technically make me a hooker? Maybe?

I at least need to find out what's so amusing about myself. A girl who's never been kissed, touched or can even say the word penis out loud without giggling.

So now I find my keys in my hand in my diy costume. Which included me in a satin purple nightgown and my hair braided. Now I just needed flowers in them to truly be rapunzel.

I can't believe I am doing this. Knowing myself in a few hours I'll be cursing myself for showing up. And being here.

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