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october 15
BRIGHTWOOD
♫You are the love of my life (my baby) And I sing this song to you (you are my joy) My child You♫
You Are My Joy by Faith Evans was playing low in the living room while I helped Zay pack his bags. He was heading back to the city, and the boys were not taking it well. They wanted to go with him, but preschool was in full swing, and there was no way they could skip out. The sniffles and sad faces broke my heart, but they had no choice in this one.
"Jade, can I talk to you for a minute?" Zayvior asked, his tone serious.
I nodded, "Yeah, sure."
We headed into the kitchen, and I grabbed a grape from the fruit bowl, popping it into my mouth as I hopped up onto the counter. Zay was pacing a bit before he turned to me.
"So, I've been thinking... I feel bad about leaving the boys, and I was wondering if maybe they could come with me this time," Zayvior said, looking hopeful.
I shook my head instantly, "No."
He frowned, stepping back like I slapped him. "What you mean 'no'?"
"Zay, I can't bring them there. You know how dangerous it is. Sunhill ain't exactly a safe place, especially with everything going on," I said, trying to keep calm.
He sighed, clearly frustrated. "Jade, you really think I'd let something happen to them? I'm their father. I'll protect them with everything I got."
"It's not about you not protecting them. It's about the environment. It's reckless, and I won't put them in that position," I said, standing firm.
Zay's jaw clenched. "So what? I don't have a say? You still trying to call all the shots like I'm not their father too. It's always one-sided with you."
I blinked, taken aback by his words. "One-sided? How am I being one-sided for not wanting my kids in danger? For someone who said we were moving on from the past, you sure quick to throw it in my face," I snapped back, crossing my arms.
He sighed, running a hand down his face. "I'm sorry, aight? I just wanna spend more time with them. I'm going to miss them."
"I know" I said, softening a little. "But it doesn't sit right with me, Zay. My guts' telling me no, and I gotta trust that."
He stepped closer, his voice more pleading now. "What if... what if you came too? We could make it work, Jade."
I shook my head. "Me coming back there? Nah, I can't do that. Too many bad memories. That place... it ain't for me."
Zay reached for my hand, holding it gently. "Please, Jade. We can make this work, and I'd feel better if you were there too."
I paused, considering it. "Look, maybe we'll come down next week, but I'm bringing my mom too. The boys have preschool, and I can't just pull them out. But if it's next week, we can work something out."
