t h i r t y six

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A/N: Early update bc why not?

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It had been two long weeks since that day—two weeks of emptiness for Soobin. Every day felt the same: wake up, eat, shower, go back to bed. He’d spent countless hours lying in his room, staring at the ceiling, lost in thoughts he couldn’t shake. No matter how hard he tried to push it all away, the feelings stayed.

The promise they’d made, the one where they said they wouldn’t see each other like that anymore, loomed over him, but it didn’t stop him from missing Yeonjun more with each passing day.

He didn’t even feel like himself anymore. The spark that had once defined him was gone, buried under layers of confusion, longing, and guilt. He hadn’t spoken to Yeonjun since that day, and even though they weren’t supposed to, Soobin found himself wishing Yeonjun would call, text—anything.

His sister, though, wasn’t fooled by his silence.

“You need to stop moping around,” she said one morning, flipping pancakes at the stove while Soobin sat silently at the kitchen table. “It’s been two weeks. You can’t just keep going like this, eating, sleeping, and repeating.”

Soobin barely looked up. “I’m fine, Noona,” he muttered, though even he didn’t believe his own words.

She scoffed, setting the spatula down with a loud clink. “Please. You’re not fine, and I’m not going to let you rot in this house. How about you hang out with Yeonjun? It’ll take your mind off things, especially after your breakup with Hyuka.”

At the mention of Huening Kai's name, Soobin tensed. He hadn’t thought about his ex as much as he probably should have. Their breakup had been hard, yes, but that wasn’t what was haunting him now. It was Yeonjun—the boy who filled his thoughts every second of the day.

“Noona, for the last time, I’m fine,” Soobin repeated, more forcefully this time. He sighed and pushed his plate away, no longer hungry.

“Too late,” she said with a smirk. The doorbell rang just as she finished speaking. “I already called him.”

Soobin froze, eyes widening. “You did what?”

But his sister was already heading to the door, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Soobin wanted to run upstairs and lock himself in his room, but it was too late. The door opened, and there he was—Yeonjun, standing in the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets, looking just as awkward as Soobin felt.

“Kara made me come,” Yeonjun said as soon as he stepped inside. He looked at Soobin apologetically, then sighed. “She thinks I need to spend time with you, you know, since Huening Kai and you broke up...”

Soobin’s heart did a strange little flip. He tried to keep his face neutral, but he felt his pulse quickening just from being near Yeonjun again. “You didn’t have to,” he said, though a part of him was relieved Yeonjun was here.

“I didn’t want to,” Yeonjun admitted bluntly but quietly, but then his gaze softened. “But… okay. Let’s hang out.”

Soobin’s sister grinned from the kitchen, satisfied with herself, as she went back to her cooking.

“Come with me,” Yeonjun said, motioning for Soobin to follow.

“Where?” Soobin asked, still standing frozen by the kitchen table. His mind raced, torn between wanting to go and wanting to keep his distance.

“You’ll see,” Yeonjun said, already heading out the door.

Soobin hesitated, but he couldn’t resist the pull Yeonjun had over him. With a resigned sigh, he grabbed his jacket and followed.

The car ride was quiet, the silence between them thick and uncomfortable. Soobin stared out the window, his thoughts swirling, wondering what Yeonjun was thinking, why Kara had forced him to come, why he was even going along with it.

After a while, they pulled up at the beach. The sun hung low in the sky, casting a soft, golden glow over the sand and the waves. It was peaceful, the sound of the ocean filling the quiet between them as they made their way down to the shore.

Yeonjun sat down first, cross-legged in the sand, staring out at the water. Soobin sat beside him, unsure of what to say.

“I used to come here a lot to clear my head,” Yeonjun said after a moment. His voice was soft, almost distant. “It helps when things get too… complicated.”

Soobin nodded, unsure where this was going but letting him talk.

“I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff,” Yeonjun continued, running his fingers through the sand. “Kara, mostly.”

Soobin’s stomach twisted at the mention of her name. He didn’t want to hear about her, but he stayed silent, letting Yeonjun speak.

“What did you like about her?” Soobin asked, surprised by his own question.

Yeonjun tilted his head, a thoughtful look crossing his face. “I liked her bubbly personality,” he said, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “She’s always so full of energy, always fun to be around. And she’s cute. That’s what drew me to her, I guess.”

Soobin’s chest tightened. He nodded, but something in him felt off. “What happened then?”

Yeonjun sighed, leaning back on his hands. “I don’t know. After a while, I just… stopped feeling that spark, you know? I realized we had too many differences. She’s still great, still a good friend, but that’s all it is now. I couldn’t pretend anymore.”

Soobin swallowed hard, his hands nervously playing with the edge of his sleeve. He took a deep breath before asking, “Then what do you like about me?”

Yeonjun turned to him, eyes soft and honest. “Soobin, I like everything about you,” he said, his voice steady and sincere. “Your cute but sassy personality, the way you challenge me. Honestly, I felt something with you even before I realized what it was.”

Soobin’s heart pounded in his chest, each word making his pulse race faster. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but he could feel his face warming under Yeonjun’s gaze.

“With you,” Yeonjun continued, “it’s different. I don’t have to put on that ‘perfect boyfriend’ act. I don’t have to pretend. When I’m with you, I can just be me.”

Soobin’s hand brushed against Yeonjun’s, and for a split second, he froze. He wanted to pull away, but he couldn’t. It felt too right, too natural.

His heart raced as they sat there, their hands barely touching, the unspoken tension between them growing with every second. Soobin’s mind was spinning, but he couldn’t find the words to express what he was feeling.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke. “...You really need to find a way to break up with her,” he said softly, his voice trembling slightly. “I don’t know how long I can keep this a secret.”

Yeonjun’s gaze fell to the sand, his expression pained. “Yeah, I know,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I just… I don’t know how.”

The silence between them grew heavy again before Yeonjun changed the subject. “How did you break up with Hyuka?” he asked quietly.

Soobin sighed, the memory still fresh. “It wasn’t easy. We both knew it wasn’t working anymore, but it still hurt. He was upset, angry even, but in the end, we both knew it was for the best.”

Yeonjun nodded slowly, his mind clearly working through his own situation with Kara. “I guess it’s going to be like that with her, too,” he muttered. “But I’ll tell her everything. Tomorrow.”

Soobin’s heart leaped at the thought, but there was a lingering doubt in his chest. “Are you sure?” he asked cautiously.

Yeonjun hesitated, then shook his head. “I’m not ready yet,” he admitted softly.

Soobin felt a pang of disappointment, but he understood. This wasn’t something that could be rushed, no matter how much he wanted it to be over. “Okay,” he said quietly, even though it hurt. “I’ll wait.”

And for now, that would have to be enough.

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