ishq lost & found

28; Nightmare

Jolting wide awake, Saad heaved a breath to calm his rapidly beating heart. The palpitating in his chest, the beads of sweat running down his temple, his palms clammy as he threw his blanket off of him, hoping it would help with his soaking shirt. Everything was overstimulating.

Scrambling to turn on the lamp, Saad took another deep breath before placing his feet flush against the cold floor, the very idea of being face to face with Salman sending him into a frenzy. Thankfully for him it was all a dream, but just the realisation that one day he'll have to come clean to Salman had been haunting him.

Running his hand through his hair, he turned to the alarm clock on his night table- hoping he had some more time to sleep. Even with the already 6 hours of completed sleep, he knew it wouldn't suffice since he had been tossing and turning. Grabbing a quick swig of water from the bottle he kept near by, he turned the lamp back off and prayed he could get some more much needed rest.

Counting the hours and minutes worth of sleep Saad would get if he fell asleep that very moment, he laid against the somewhat dry mattress and pillow, making a mental note to change them when he got home that day.

If Saad wanted to sleep, what he should have done is try to put his mind to rest and stop worrying. But of course, thoughtful, worrisome Saad, burdened with responsibilities beyond his control and empathy like that of no other, he stayed up thinking about Ranya.

It was safe to say that Saad had failed. His original plan of maintaining a distance from her was not easy at all. In the beginning it wasn't too bad, he could keep himself from her because he could see the discomfort in her expressions and body language. But over time it seemed she grew to be comfortable around him. His shameless attempt at changing her opinion began bothering him, now more than ever before.

He should have let her assume the worst of him, that would have made this all easier. But instead he was dead set on changing his character in her eyes. There was always a battle in his mind, between wanting to prove himself to her but to maintain a distance. Not just because he cared about Salman, but because he cared about himself and his heart. Deep down he knew he wasn't over her- he never had been. And marrying her certainly wasn't going to help him accomplish that.

It had only been a couple hours since he had spoken to her, and after what Ranya had said, Saad found it harder than ever to stop thinking about her. He had found himself smiling throughout completing chores whenever he thought about the way she said it, the look on her face when she realised. He felt like a little kid, giddy that he received a compliment. But what stood out more than that two letter sentence was what she did when she had gotten back from her run.

"I was thinking about your problem." Ranya panted, running towards the fridge for a bottle of cold water, taking a large sip, wanting to speak to Saad again as soon as she had stepped out of the house. Luckily for her, he was still in the living room on his laptop.

"My problem?" Saad asked, perplexed as to what she was referring to.

"Yeah." She walked over, taking a seat across him- this time wanting to maintain some distance after her embarrassing comment, and to keep him from smelling her after that exhausting run. "I think you should be civil with Sana, but she has crossed multiple lines. And you've expressed your boundaries multiple times, but I think you'll really have to stress them in front of people otherwise I don't think she cares."

"Isn't that what I did at that dinner?" Saad asked, holding back the urge to grin from ear to ear. The thought that she had been thinking about him for the past hour during her run was endearing to say the least.

"Yeah but those were her friends. I'm sure she justified it to them afterwards and made us look dramatic, but I think if you do it in front of people she feels the need to impress, it'll hold much more weight."

Thinking about her advice, Saad hoped he'd get the opportunity to try it out sooner or later. As much as he appreciated her advice, and the fact that it was clear she was somewhat comfortable with him, he knew he couldn't keep doing this. He had all the reasons not to, and it was about time he actually kept his word. By the time Saad had stopped thinking about Ranya, he could hear the birds chirping and the sun peaking through the window. Groaning because he didn't sleep at all since being awoken by that stupid nightmare, he reluctantly rolled out of bed to prepare for the day.

Trying to make the best out of the worst, he consoled himself, telling himself that this was a good start to avoiding Ranya. Lately most mornings they would briefly see each other, maybe exchange glances and a couple of words. But that was enough to leave Saad wanting more as the day went on. Like an addict he couldn't wait for the high of her voice to hit him, the satisfaction of getting to see her and be in her vicinity. It had gotten to the point where she was getting in the way of his productivity.

From now on, he'd leave extra early, and stay extra late. Maybe come a little earlier and lock himself in his office. It had become a habit of his to slightly delay his morning routine, waiting in his room before hearing her alarm clock go off so he could time their exit together. It was a lot of unconscious effort on his part, he didn't have to think twice about it. It would just... happen. Not today though.

Running down the stairs as fast as he could without waking her up, Saad zoomed through the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee and some breakfast before heading out. As he was busy putting away the plate he used for some fruit, he heard the sound of his phone vibrating against the marble counter, lightly echoing through the kitchen.

Wondering who on earth could have tried texting him at the crack of dawn, he furrowed his eyebrows before picking it up and unlocking it. It was a text from a number he hadn't saved, or recognised. Usually he would ignore them, but this time it's like something in him told him to read it and respond.

Unsure of who it could be, he mumbled as he read the text aloud, "Is it true? Huh?". The odds of it being a spam account or a scammer were high, but he had the sinking feeling it wasn't either of those. Biting his bottom lip, he contemplated responding. He knew he had to leave, Ranya would be up soon. But he didn't want to get int he car and wonder who it was the entire way to work, and then wonder whether it was someone he knows, especially Salman, or if it's just a random person.

"Who's this?" He typed back, hoping the person would respond just as fast as he did. If they did, they were likely real. If not, it must've been a mistake or something. Either way, if they answered Salman, he'd know for sure.

"Who do you think?" The responded just as fast, Saad feeling on edge by their words.

"I don't know." He replied, knowing if he had guessed any name, if this person was really just trying to get something out of him, they'd assume that identity.

"Morning." Ranya greeted, breaking Saad out of his trance. His phone buzzed in his hand as he quickly put it away, like a child hiding something they shouldn't have.

"Morning." He replied, defeated that nothing seemed to be going his way, the feeling of torment and dread creeping up his chest as he tried to maintain a composed demeanour, the same as usual.

"You're up early. Did you have breakfast already?" Ranya asked as she brushed past him, her gaze catching the dishes in the sink. Though they answered her question, she wanted to talk to him just as much as he wanted to talk to her.

"Yeah, I got a lot of work to catch up on." He explained, admiring her for a moment before heading towards the door, "I gotta get going. I'll see you later?"

"Mhmm" Ranya nodded, turning towards him for a moment, "Have a good day at work." She smiled, her grin shooting right through his heart.

Holding back the urge to break out into a cheese grin, he mimicked her concern, "You too."

Immediately heading out the door, he pulled out his phone to see the message he had been dreading m. The few extra seconds he had to wait to reveal whether or not this was who he thought eating him up. The distress he felt felt familiar, like that of what he felt before taking his LSAT or opening up his response from his dream school. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked his phone, his heart rate speeding up, his stomach in his throat.

"Your brother."

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i hate this so much but it's ok better chapters r coming 😃 sorry guys