ishq lost & found

12; Nikkah

The large garden was a tapestry of colours, with vibrant blooms of pink, white, and lilac creating a picturesque scene against the lush greenery. Delicate strings of fairy lights intertwined with branches of tall trees, casting a soft, enchanting glow. The air was fragrant with the scent of roses and jasmine, creating an ambiance that was both magical and suffocating. Saad stood at the front, his heart pounding beneath his crisp beige sherwani. His finger fidgeted with the edges of his sleeves, a futile attempt to calm his nervousness.

Biting the inside of his cheek, he stared down at his hands as he contemplated how he got here, to this point in his life. Sighing, he tried to calm down his nerves as he knew Ranya would be entering soon. He hadn't seen her since their short meeting, and the weight of the unspoken words pressed heavily on him. They had once shared stolen glances and secret smiles, but that seemed like a lifetime ago. Now, all he could feel was the anxiety gnawing at his insides. He forced himself to breathe, each exhale feeling like it might be his last.

On the other side of the garden, Ranya sat surrounded by her closest friends and family. Her heart raced as she adjusted the heavy dupatta over her head, its golden embroidery shimmering in the soft light. She tried to focus on the conversations around her, but her mind kept drifting back to Saad. Did he still remember the afternoons they spent talking about their dreams? Did he feel the same knot in his stomach, the same mix of hope and dread?

Ranya's mother squeezed her hand gently, bringing her back to the present. She looked up and offered a weak smile, but her eyes betrayed her inner turmoil. She had convinced herself that Saad had moved on, that this marriage was just a convenient arrangement for him. But the thought of standing beside him, so close yet so far, made her chest tighten with longing. Still, she reminded herself to remain guarded. 

The call for the nikkah ceremony echoed through the garden, a somber reminder that the moment of truth was approaching. Saad took his place on the left of the stage, alongside the imam, his palms clammy and his heart a chaotic drumbeat. He glanced at the path, knowing that just beyond it, Ranya was preparing to step into his world once more.

Ranya emerged, her steps measured and graceful, yet her eyes reflecting the same storm Saad felt within. Alongside her father, her arm intertwined with his, she kept her gaze fixated on the grass beneath her as she felt her heart drop deeper and deeper into her stomach with each step towards Saad. As she approached, their eyes met for a fleeting moment, and in a brief second, a thousand memories and unspoken feeling passed between them. The distance that had grown between them seemed to close, only to be replaced by uncertainty. He was quick to look away, his avoidance stinging and serving as a reminder to reinforce her belief that he harboured indifference towards her.

Upon reaching the stage, with the help of her father, she sat down, now facing Saad with the curtain of flowers between them obscuring her view. The imam's voice resonated through the garden, reciting the verses that would bind them together. Saad's mind raced. He wanted to reach out, to tell Ranya how he felt, but the fear of rejection paralyzed him. The idea of betraying his brother paralyzed him. But he wanted to know. Did she still care for him, or was this just convenient for her?

Ranya's hands trembled in her lap, hidden beneath the folds of her dress. She tried to imagine Saad's expression, his profile etched with tension. She wished she could find the courage to speak, to ask him if this was what he truly wanted. But the fear of hearing a truth she couldn't bear to face kept her silent. It was too late.

"Qubool hai" Saad said, his voice steady but his heart aching as he closed his eyes briefly, summoning every ounce of courage to spit those two words out.

Ranya's breath hitched, a small gasp escaping her lips, Saad's voice breaking her out of her trance. She felt her world narrow down into the single question when the Imam asked her. Peeking through the flowers between them, she tried reading Saad's emotions from the small bits of him she could see, his gaze seemed intense, almost pleading. In that moment, she knew her answer.

Gulping, she whispered, her voice a fragile thread woven with hope and fear, "Qubool hai"

The words hung in the air, binding them together in a bond that was as much about their shared past as it was about the unknown future. The garden erupted in applause, but all Saad and Ranya could hear was the deafening roar of their own hearts.

Saad took a deep breath, the weight of expectation heavy on his shoulders. He stood up, moving towards the curtain of flowers that divided them. With careful hands, he parted the delicate blossoms, revealing Ranya sitting on the other side. Her eyes were wide, a mixture of apprehension and something else - something that mirror his own emotions.

Saad's face, as always, was a mask of stoicism. His features remained impassive, betraying none of the turmoil inside. He hadn't always been this way, but since their recent reunion, he was a fortress of calm that Ranya could never penetrate. She had convinced herself that his lack of expression meant he didn't care for her, that this marriage was just a duty for him, especially since it was his younger brother, Salman, who was originally supposed to marry her. Given their past history and his abrupt exit from her life, this notion was most logical.

He stepped through the curtain, feeling the eyes of everyone on them. Tradition dictated that he help her up and embrace her, a symbolic gesture of their new union. As he reached Ranya, he extended his hand. She looked up at him, her expression softening as she placed her hand in his, a wave of electricity shooting up her spine at their first touch. She almost stumbled back, losing her balance at the unexpected touch, but Saad's reflexes were quick, immediately catching her before she could fall. Pulling her back to balance with just one arm, he paused, giving her a moment to stabilize herself before lifting her veil.

She felt paralyzed under his touch, completely frozen, having yearned for a moment like this with him for years. But now it felt bittersweet, she could tell her didn't want to be with her just by the look on his face.

Saad never thought this would happen to him either. Not with Ranya. He also never expected her to be this beautiful. He knew it was a dumb idea to look straight into her eyes but he couldn't help himself. He stared at her for a moment, admiring the beauty he missed up close. She was always beautiful to him, but today she looked extravagant. Having been unable to appreciate her looks due to his own anxieties and worries as she walked down the aisle, he took her in. Her thick charcoal locks cascaded down her shoulders, her big brown eyes glimmering under the bright fairy lights. She had grown to be prettier than he could have ever imagined, the pictures he had seen couldn't compare to her in real life, they just didn't do her any justice.

The moment felt charged, the air between them crackling with unspoken words and lingering feelings. Saad hesitated for a fraction of a second before he pulled her into a hug, his arms wrapping around her in what he hoped was a comforting embrace. It was the most he thought appropriate, a gesture that was both respectful and intimate. Ranya froze, her spine stiffening, and Saad noticed.

After some apprehension, Ranya's arms encircled him in return, and for a brief moment, they were both transported back to a time when their feelings for each other were untainted by doubt and fear. The hug was warm and grounding, a silent conversation where words failed them. Yet, Ranya couldn't shake the feeling that Saad's stoicism meant he felt nothing for her, that this hug was just a formality.

As they pulled back slightly, Saad looked into Ranya's eyes, trying to convey everything he couldn't say. He was burdened by the belief that this marriage, though necessary, was morally wrong. Salman was supposed to be standing here, not him. The guilt gnawed at him, making it hard to let his true feelings show.

They exchanged tentative smiles, the tension between them beginning to dissolve, replaced by the glimmer of something new, something that had been waiting for this very moment to be rekindled. But behind Saad's smile, Ranya saw only the same stoic mask, and her heart ached with the thought that he might never truly care for her.

With their hands still clasped, they turned to face the gathered guests, who continued to applaud and shower them with blessings. But in that moment, Saad and Ranya felt as if they were the only two people in the garden, connected by an invisible thread that neither distance nor time could sever, yet still separated by a wall of unspoken fears and misunderstood feelings.