Responsibility | Jihancheol FF | Seventeen FF

22

That afternoon Hansol stepped in B wing,he looked for Seungkwan's name on name plate and when he found it,he halted at his step.

The name plate is in pink color with baby chick on it,'cute' Hansol thought. He read the name

Boo Seungkwan

Boo Haeun

A foul thought of adding his name on same name plate crossed in his mind and he jerked his head in desperation,he can't and more precisely he shouldn't.

He looked at doorbell for quite a while,mumbling to himself if he should or should not.

"I should not" he declared to himself as walked towards elevator but then he heard voice of child and something in him stirred,he believes that the voice is surely of haeun,she sounds irritated like she either didn't get what she desired or just stopped crying recently.

He again turned on his steps standing in front of door again,The face of seungkwan when they first meet appear infront of his,how cute and lively he used to look but recently Seungkwan looks like he is sleep deprived,his cheeks are shallow too,there no puffiness on his face..no charm,no energy,
did he do wrong by putting Seungkwan alone through all of this?

He rand the bell,and hold his breath till he heard shuffling with door knob,atleast Seungkwan going to open the door for him.

Yes,Seungkwan did opened the door for him,Hansol stiffened in place,his brain working on possible words to say to Seungkwan but none of them that qualified to leave his lips,but he halted,his brain halted when Seungkwan's body got into his vision.

He is looking bad..no..worst..his looking worst at possible..
Like he is low on food or low on wisdom,like if Hansol even try to push him little bit, Seungkwan surely going on the ground like feather..

Seungkwan's eyes widened,Hansol were never in his list of people who will ever visit him,not even the the last person.
Last time when they meet at Seungcheol's house,Hansol made it clear that he ain't bothered by Seungkwan or his daughter's existence,then out of all people..why should he?

"What?" He speak out but realise his voice I'd to hoarse ,mostly gone,did he cried that much to loose the ability to speak?

"I-.. actually.." Hansol started trying to reason out why currently he is here but the moment his gaze fells upon the scar on Seungkwan's hand he panicked "ohh my god Seungkwan what happened?"

He entered inside without permission holding Seungkwan's left arm in his both palm,but Seungkwan stepped back at speed of light,his eyes looks horrified,like Hansol just said a lie and Seungkwan knows the truth..

It's similar though, Hansol's concern felt like lie,a white lie,and Seungkwan would never be color blind.

Hansol looks down in disappointment when his eyes widen again,the surrounding start to get in his vision..
There are shattered glasses,he stepped in more,looked around a whole living room is mess,like Seungkwan himself picked up each and everything to thrown it away,his face changed in shocked one,it looks terrible,like just storm happened here..

But his steps halted when he heard the voice of small child,'Haeun!' it striked in his mind as he run towards the voice.

Haeun were on the bed,the bed itself is mess,but still seungkwan compounded her surrounding by cushions and blanket,she is fisting one of cushion,he closed distance between them step by step,She looks irritated ,here fingers are red and her eyes are glossy from crying to much.

He picked her up,a sudden pool of memories striked to him like voltage!

Isn't this is the child he said to abort,This is the reason he leaves Seungkwan for,how could he? Those innocent eyes,little figure,that numbness everything is eating Hansol out,he felt the lump in his throat ,'how wrong I was?' he thought to himself as tears rolled down.

That night when he teased Seungcheol about Jeonghan's mood swing and how he ain't ever gonna tolerate anyone like this, Seungcheol made him sit besides him,he told him everything little moment he himself felt.

When he first got to know he is going to be dad,or when Jeonghan first time put his hand on the belly,when he saw the sonography first time,when baby kicked first time,when Jeonghan randomly gets emotional over silly things,when Jeonghan demands for weird food combination..when Jeonghan cries over ant or when he just tried to be productive but fails miserably..

Seungcheol told Hansol his every moment which gives him happiness,every moment which he previously hold to himself,which makes him happy,which is the reason he smiles..

He remember Seungcheol saying that,"Bad is going to happens,no one is declining,but just for that we can't stop hoping for good.."

He feels like he found his good,he realise his mistake,how could he? Why did he even left Seungkwan with this precious when he should the one holding them close,cherishing them,loving them,protecting them.

He failed! Miserably!

His hand started to shake,he is still holding Haeun up in the air,neither did he hugged her nor put her away,but his body jerked with shock when seungkwan pulled ha-eun away from his grasp,close to himself,there is sour ness in his eyes,liking saying "HASOL GET OUT".

Seungkwan didn't uttered a single word for a while nor did Hansol, it's only noise of Haeun who is still irritated for God knows what? He made a mental note to call Joshua today.

"I have it" he said putting Haeun back on bed as he looks straight in Hansol's eyes, "what?" Hansol aske in questioned.

"Money,which you gave me,I still have it,I only use small amount when i genuinely needed it,but apart from that I did not used a single penny" Seungkwan said now searching for his phone..he wanted to show Hansol his account balance ,to give evidence of his purity,to prove he ain't any money whore.

"No.." Hansol said as he hold his forearm,"I willingly gave them to you,you can use however you want"there was pleading in his voice,he wanted Seungkwan to forgot about yesterday like it never happened,

but does world gonna stop for him?
No.

Does he gonna get favoured just because he realised he was wrong?
Absolutely not.

Today he realised why older people says to take every step after thinking..he realise but isn't it too late?