Responsibility | Jihancheol FF | Seventeen FF

28

Joshua sat quietly in the kitchen, fingers wrapped around a cup of lukewarm tea. He wasn’t really drinking it, just staring down into the dark liquid, his thoughts wandering. In the next room,  Jeongin playing, his small voice mumbling a made-up conversation with his toys. The sound was comforting, in a way, but Joshua felt distant from it today, like he wasn’t really there.

His mind kept going back to what had happened earlier. He’d cried on some stranger’s shoulder in the middle of the bridge. He couldn’t even explain it. He wasn’t the type to just break down like that, especially not in public. He prided himself on keeping it together, especially for Jeongin’s sake. But today, something just snapped. The stress of the last few years, the loneliness, the weight of it all—it crashed down on him at once. And there he was, leaning on some man,who he only know as same resident as him, he didn’t even know, sobbing like a child.

Now, sitting in his quiet kitchen, he felt ashamed. It was awkward to think about. Who does that? What kind of father falls apart in front of a stranger? He’d pulled himself together pretty quickly, mumbling apologies to the seokmin, who had been kind enough not to say anything. But the embarrassment still lingered, hanging over him like a cloud he couldn’t shake.

His phone buzzed on the counter, snapping him out of his thoughts. Joshua glanced at the screen. Seungkwan.

He hesitated, thumb hovering over the screen. He could just ignore it. Let it go to voicemail, maybe text him later with an excuse. But something—maybe a need for distraction—pushed him to answer.

“Hey, Seungkwan,” Joshua said, trying to sound normal, though his voice came out tired.

“Hey, Joshua hyung! How’s it going?” Seungkwan sounded like his usual chipper self, but Joshua thought he heard a hint of concern in his voice.Like it's mere 3 days ago and Joshua remember it all.

“Oh, you know... same old,” Joshua replied, glancing toward the living room where Jeongin was busy building a tower with his blocks.

There was a pause on the other end. “I was thinking,” Seungkwan said carefully, “if you’re not too busy, maybe I could pop over? Ha-eun been asking to play with Jeongin, and it might be nice to catch up.”

Joshua’s mind immediately started searching for an excuse. He could say he wasn’t feeling well or that he had plans, anything to avoid the visit. But at the same time, a part of him felt exhausted from being alone all the time. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have someone around for a little bit.

“Uh... yeah, sure. That’s fine,” Joshua said, surprising himself.

“Great! We’ll be over in ten minutes then,” Seungkwan replied, sounding relieved. “See you soon.”

Joshua hung up and stared at the phone for a second, second-guessing his decision. But it was too late now. He stood up, tidying the kitchen even though it was already clean, just for something to do.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang, and Joshua opened the door to find Seungkwan and his daughter standing there, holding her dad’s hand shyly. Joshua forced a smile, though he still felt uneasy.

“Thanks for having us,” Seungkwan said, stepping inside with his daughter. “I know it’s kind of last minute.”

“No, it’s fine,” Joshua said, moving aside to let them in. “Jeongin’s in the living room.”

The two kids eyed each other awkwardly for a moment, but it wasn’t long before they were playing together, Jeongin showing her his toys. Their giggles filled the house, and Joshua realized he hadn’t heard so much laughter here in a while,was his behaviour in morning really scared Jeongin till yet?.