It's Complicated

32: Realization (Finally)

"Yoongi... I-" You pause. Yoongi still stands in front of you, his lips parted slightly and his wide eyes painting a perfect picture of innocence.

Oh yeah... real innocent!

He's obviously very drunk as he's still confused why you suddenly pushed him away at such an intimate moment. He slides his hand along the counter, brushing his fingers gently against your thigh. Firmly, you grab his hand before he can continue further.

"Please stop Yoongi!" You half whisper, half plead to him. You're scared if you let yourself, you might want more too.

You slide off the counter, bringing you closer to him as you look up at his face. Then, before you can give in to the deceivingly innocent looking eyes, you turn and head to your room.

Once alone you collapse onto your bed. Now you're away from Yoongi your mind begins to sort through the information.

You remember back to the night at your place, how after Jimin left you continued to drink a lot. Then you remember turning on the purple galaxy night light and making Yoongi lie next to you on the floor. And, you remember teasing Yoongi, telling him you were hungry and calling him daddy and... (fuck) freakin seducing him!

What the hell Y/N what is wrong with you! How did you forget that! And this whole time Yoongi's known about it while you've been living in his freakin apartment! How could you even do such a thing in the first place!... Nooo what would Jungkook say!! Wait... does that mean I... like him? Like sure I admire him as a friend (kinda) but he's such a damn pain. Why else would I act like that? If that's the case does he like me??

You interrupt your inner freak out conversation to think back to the time when you had fought with the girls at school. He had been overly worried about you... but then so had Jungkook.

Maybe he was just looking out for me as a friend like Jungkook did. But what about when I accidentally called him daddy then. That was weird, like he jumped right on me!

You feel yourself blush as you remember Jungkook walking in on you and Yoongi on top of each other. And then there was the time when Jimin kissed you. Jimin had said how he never fully explained that to Yoongi because he noticed how protective Yoongi became.

Am I just being delusional? Am I just looking for ridiculous signs that he does like me? Y/N pull yourself together! Why would he? You're so much younger... But he was just now making out with you! Not 5 minutes ago he had you up on the bench and his beautiful smooth juicy lips on yours and... and... Argg does he freaking like me or not!?

You go back and forth and round in circles as you argue with yourself. After a half hour you still hadn't reached any conclusions with so many unanswered questions floating around in your head. A notification on your phone startles you, it's Jimin.

~Messages~

Jimin

"Hey gorgeous😉 How's it going at Yoongi's?"

Y/N

"Um... I don't really know... He came home from work kinda cranky and seemed like he was getting happier when JK called and so I went off to talk to JK and when I came back out Yoongi was drunk, like really drunk."

You consider telling Jimin about the kiss but you don't want to have to explain why Yoongi would do that. You still don't know yourself.

~Messages~

Jimin

"Ooo nice... He's much more fun when he's drunk😉"

Y/N

"Seriously Jimin!? You're such a child🙄"

Jimin

"What do you mean!"

"You do like him don't you?"

Y/N

"What!!"

What the hell! How does he know! I mean... What is he thinking! Surely I don't... do I?

You look over and see your reflection in the mirror. Your face is flushed and your eyes reflect a strange mix of emotions. Embarrassment? Definitely. Frustration? Yeah a bit. Longing? Yup, it's there alright. Longing for what? Answers? No. For Yoongi.

Oh!

Suddenly it all makes sense in your stupid little mind.

Took me long enough!

~Messages~

Jimin

"Oh sorry... I guess I must have read you wrong... It seemed like you were interested in him."

"Y/N?"

"You there?"

Y/N

"Sorry Jimin, I have to go."

All you want to do is be with Yoongi. You shove away your phone and jump off your bed, heading out to the kitchen.

I have to talk to him...

You make your way back out to the kitchen where you last left Yoongi staring after you. You call out softly, "Yoongi?" There's no answer as you enter the kitchen to find it empty. You hear something stir in the living room behind you and you turn to find a sleeping Yoongi crashed out on the couch. You silently creep over to his side and watch as he sleeps like a baby. You crouch next to him and rest your head in your hands listening to the rhythmic sound of his breathing. You sigh, he looks so peaceful. Leaning in closer, you whisper, "Damn it...I love you Yoongi." The words are barely audible, more like a breath than a whisper. Still the certainty of them surprises you and you quickly rise and flee to your room, embarrassed.

I'll talk to him tomorrow.

[A/N] Sorry this was a bit short and mostly thinking but kinda seemed necessary. Also sorry this chapter took ageeesss👉👈 We got so busy with just life ya know😅 pls look forward to the next chapter💜💜