View B:
Didn’t you say you would come home today?
I looked at View B’s message, not knowing how to respond except to lie.
May B:
I don’t want to face Mike right now. I can’t bear it.
It’s partly true that I feel this way, but mostly, the feeling inside me is completely empty. In the past, I still had some confidence in facing my parents because I was sure that no matter what mistakes I made, I would always be loved and forgiven.
Like with my father, we often argued, but deep down, I believed that he loved me. Even if we didn’t speak, we still had the bonds of father and daughter, something that could never be cut, like a thin rope that always connected us.
But when I heard what my father said, the “string” I believed in suddenly disappeared. I didn’t dare to face anyone at home because I felt like an outsider. Disappointing my father was like betraying the person who raised me, and yet I kept disappointing him. And now I've done something as shameful as falling in love with someone from my own family.
If my parents find out about this...
View B:
Then I'll see you, P'May.
May B:
No. Mom will complain. I'll go home tomorrow. I'm going to sleep now.
I didn't care what View B replied, I had already turned my phone face down. What is this feeling? Is it resentment? But I'm mature enough not to throw a tantrum or act out by resorting to alcohol or drugs. I have the maturity to weigh what should and shouldn't be done. It's just that I'm not ready to face anyone yet. I need some time to heal.
"I want to go to the sea."
Mei's voice came from outside, causing me, lying face down on the bed, to get up and open the door. Something nudged me to answer my friend, even though she was just saying it casually.
"Shall we go now?"
"Huh? / Huh?"
Mei and Paint turned to look at me, responding in unison with surprise. It’s not often that I suggest going somewhere like this. The two exchanged glances for a moment, then answered without hesitation.
"Ok, let’s go to Pattaya. It’s close. I want to drink,”
Paint agreed immediately.
“But you drive, and we’ll split the gas money."
"Ok, whatever you say.”
.
.
Having good friends gives you a boost of positive energy. When you feel like you’re running out of steam, friends step in to support you without asking too many questions, until you’re ready to share everything. The three-hour drive from Bangkok to Pattaya Beach was filled with Paint and Mei chatting, avoiding my problem until I was ready to bring it up. But I could tell how eager they were to hear about it.
"It seems like I’m the one my parents adopted, not View B."
I said this as I parked the car near the sea and got out. My friends, dazed, slowly followed me and walked beside me, looking out at the vast night sea. The dark sky gave the sea a different kind of atmosphere. It was scary, but it also brought a sense of calm and peace.
"Are you sure that’s true?"
Paint asked cautiously. I nodded with a small smile, even though I didn’t feel like smiling inside.
"Yeah, my dad said it himself."
"Your dad might be lying."
"My dad isn’t a liar. Besides, he wasn’t talking to me; he was talking to Mike B… I’m just the person who happened to overhear."
