Now, all the pressure is crashing down on me like a huge wave, ready to take me far, far away. Sometimes, I wish this wave would drown me, and I would never have to resurface again, if that were possible at this moment.
My mind is blank.
I miss my mother, I really do, but if I could go back to being the same daughter, everything would go back to normal. I would have to go back to doing things behind my parents' backs.
My family won't let us be together. My father will turn into a monster again, pushing me away. This time, it might not be a plane crash, but it might be me jumping off a tall building because I can't take the pressure anymore.
Just as I was about to call my mother, Dr. Ake, who was sitting in front of me, reached out and grabbed her wrist. Then, he spoke in his usual soft and polite tone.
"Excuse me, I think you might be misunderstanding something."
He said gently but firmly, feeling how tightly my mother was holding my wrist.
"This is Mei, my girlfriend."
.
Thud...
Thud, thud…
.
The introduction and new status coming from the young doctor’s mouth made my mother shake her head in disbelief.
"She’s not Mei. This is May B, my daughter."
"How about this?"
Dr. Ake took a business card out of his wallet and handed it to my mother as a form of negotiation.
"If you have any questions,
you can call me directly. Mei is currently not feeling well. She was injured in a serious accident and is still recovering."
"What accident?"
My mother was immediately interested, but Dr. Ake continued to smile calmly.
"I’ll tell you all the details, but can I ask you to calm down and contact me later? Mei is already very shaken up, and I’m afraid that if she gets any more scared, she won’t remember anything."
"B...but..."
"Please..."
Her politeness and the reasons that somehow supported my mother’s hopes made her finally let go of my hand, although she didn’t take her eyes off me. There was longing, protection, and concern in her gaze, and I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes.
"Go rest for now, Mom. I’ll take care of everything."
"No,”
Mom shook her head and speak clearly before putting away the business card.
“I’ll take care of it myself. Everyone is trying to take care of things, and no one has getting anywhere.”
She finally left with Viw B, while I sit still, unable to move. Dr. Ake was the one who came to my rescue in that climactic moment when I couldn’t make a decision.
"Let’s go home, Mei. I can’t eat anything right now."
"Okay, let’s stop at a convenience store and grab something simple to eat in the car."
.
.
He was still the same, always giving me my personal space, never pressuring me for answers if I wasn’t ready. The whole time we were in the car, until we stopped at a roadside convenience store to get something to eat, I sit there staring at the sausage in my hand, unsure of what to do next.
