Just now, I left the store in the care of Khun Arun Berkfa, while I pretending to go get some things from home. In reality, I am going to the mall to look for novels in the bookstore. The term "novel" seems so distant from my life... so distant that I can't even find a word to express this distance.
For as long as I can remember, the books I picked up were academic texts that my father always provided for the enrichment of knowledge, with my mother, who was a "teacher", offering logical guidance.
If you ask me about the entertainment I received seriously, it would probably be the cartoons on Channel Nine that I watched on the weekends or the episodes of the Ramayana that were extracted from Thai language textbooks.
"What kind of novel do you want to read?"
"I don't know."
I reply to a friend who I invited and grimaced. M.L. Sipakorn, or as everyone calls her, 'Khun Nueng' handed me a book and recommended it as an expert.
"We grew up in an all-girls school, so we should read something a little closer to our experience."
"What does this have to do with an all-girls school?"
"Well, it's about love between women."
Khun Nueng handed me a novel with a cover featuring two women sitting together. I turned to the blurb on the back and felt a little embarrassed.
"Is there a male protagonist in this story?"
"No, those are the female protagonists, the main characters, right on the cover."
"The male lead looks so cute."
"The female protagonist is a woman."
"Seriously…"
I pursed my lips, feeling embarrass, and put the book back in its place, worries about what others might think.
"Never mind. I don't dare take it to the cashier. What if the salesperson feels uncomfortable?"
"They won't feel anything. These days, the shelves are full of novels about men living each other. Buying a novel about women love each other has become quite normal."
But I still didn't accept it, and I quickly left, feeling nervous. Khun Nueng, who was following close behind, laugh in understanding rather than mockery.
"What's with the sudden invitation to the mall? Usually, you're holed up in the your store."
Although Khun Nueng and I weren't very close during school, meeting each other again as adults with similar personal lives and interests made it easier for us to connect. No matter how troubled I was with family issues, consulting her was like finding a safe zone, a person who understood me.
Sometimes, family isn't a safe space for everyone. It's the same for us.
"Just tell me straight out, no beating around the bush. What's going on?"
Khun Nueng pull my arm to stop me for walking and ask seriously. I looked at beautiful and sincere friend and let out a big sigh.
"Hmm?"
"I'm thinking about writing a novel."
"..."
"It's a long story.
"At first, I didn’t have time, but now I’m interested. Let’s spend the whole day together. Let’s eat something and talk."
It was hard to believe that M. L. Sipakorn, such a distinguished person, would seriously take the time to listening to my trivial purpose of writing a novel.
