Introduction

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Dear Christopher,

I don't know how to start this letter off.

There's so much I want to say, but I'm not sure you'd want to hear it.

I hope you're doing well. I hope you're living a better life than I lived.

I hope my babies are okay. All of you.

I know I've made a lot of mistakes, but I'm trying really hard right now to get the help I need. I promise you. I've changed.

I'm taking medication for bipolar, and I'm seeing a therapist.

I just want a second chance. I wish you didn't leave the way you did.

I know you've had to take care of your brothers.

I wanted to be able to help out. I never wanted you to be left with that burden alone. I wanted to send child support. I want to pay you back. I want to. I wish I could.

I keep thinking about the day you left. It replays over and over in my mind.

It broke my heart.

I want to have a relationship with you. With all my children.

I know I don't have the right to ask this.

I know you won't want me to see Peter or Felix or Sky, but I want to have the chance to at least know them. If they want me to.

Please. At least let them know that I care. Give them the chance to decide whether they want to know me or not.

~~~


Chan read the letter carefully, over and over again.

He crumpled it up and threw it in the garbage before walking out of the room.

Then he walked back in and picked it out again.

He flattened it out and put it in the drawer of his nightstand.

He sighed and walked back out of the room, quickly putting it out of his mind and going to get Eden a bottle. 

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