"Goldenheart Histories"

A new purpose (part 4)

- Ambrosius Narrates -

When I heard that he was pregnant I didn't know what to do, I ran out of the room without any direction, I needed to go out and clear my mind; when I was away from the hospital I walked to a park that I usually frequent, I sat on a bench and I started to watch the people, there were many families together, children playing and young people walking.

Everything was very quiet, I was calmer but I still felt very bad for what I did, but... a baby... am I really ready for this kind of responsibility?

- ... What will become of the baby? Will I know what to do? Will I be a good father? Will he hate me? Or perhaps... will I be like my parents?

That was my worst fear, as far as I'm concerned I'm an orphan, my parents used me at will and rarely paid attention to me... I'm very afraid that I could be like them, what kind of father would I be... if I'm not present in my son's life?

- My worst fear is being a terrible father... will I be? Will I not see the baby grow up?... will I have the same fate... as my parents?

Fear began to invade me, I began to cry a little out of worry, I did not want that to happen, but being descended from such absent and negligent people, I am very afraid that their influence will be reflected in me... it is not that I cannot stand children, in fact I adore them... but I do not want it to hate me...

- What should I do?

- ... Excuse me sir- a voice took me out of my thoughts, a girl was talking to me- my brother and I want to play on the swings, can you help us?

- ... Sure.

The girl took me by the hand and when we got to the swings I started to push her and her brother, they were both very happy, their laughter made me feel happy, I forgot that a few minutes ago I was drowning in my thoughts, we spent a while playing together until the children's parents arrived, they thanked me for playing with them and said goodbye to me.

When the family left I went deeper into the park and began to enjoy nature, I stayed under a tree while I watched the people who passed by the path, over time I finally felt calmer.

Minutes later a family with a stroller passed in front of me, they stopped because their baby was starting to cry, his mother tried to calm him down but I saw that nothing worked, his father took him in his arms and after a few minutes the baby had calmed down, I didn't hear anything, I even managed to see that the baby was happy.

- ... He wanted his father's affection... can I do it?

At that moment I started to think about what it would be like to have the baby and Ballister by my side, I closed my eyes for a few seconds and I didn't realize when I fell asleep; I started to imagine what it would be like, in my mind I had the image of a little baby girl in my arms, almost identical to Bal but with the same color as my eyes, she looked at me with a lot of love and felt comfortable in my arms... she was a beautiful girl, very sweet and very happy, after a while she fell asleep in my arms and when I saw Bal he just looked tenderly at how the baby and I interacted; it was a beautiful dream, at that moment I came back to reality, I didn't know how long I had slept but that dream was very revealing.

- ... My adorable omega... my precious baby... all together... like a family... - I no longer had any doubts, I knew what I had to do-

I left the park and called a moving company, I gave them Ballister's address and we went to his apartment, when we arrived everything was going to be fast, there weren't many things but I had to make sure to take everything, if we are going to be a family we should live together; I'm decided... I can't imagine my life away from them.