Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 30: Pancakes

While Autumn and Vivian walked back in the room, the doctor came in right behind them. "Oh, hi doc! How are you this morning?" The doctor chuckles at Viv as he is flipping through his notes regarding Siobhan. "I'm doing well... I have some good news! Ms. Serpent... you can go home!" Loud cheers fill the room, but Vivian and Autumn share a look. Autumn can see the worry in Vivian's eyes and decides to try to put her mind at ease by seeing that Roger is gone. With a smile Autumn says, "Well, I will leave you two to it. Congratulations on being discharged Siobhan and enjoy your new life! Viv, you take care of her." Autumn gives a subtle nod to Vivian hoping to signal her plan.

I'm so glad my Bon Bon is coming home, but I just saw Roger in the car park! I'm so nervous that he will still be out there... Siobhan deserves to be left alone! I think Autumn is leaving before us to check it out and make sure he is gone— at least I hope she is...

From what Viv told me, I need to search the lot to make sure my father has gone. I know she is worried about taking Siobhan home right after my father threatened her. Right here— in the hospital car park.

The doctor leaves as he calls out to Siobhan's nurse, "Go ahead and get Ms. Serpent's discharge papers together. I'm sure they are ecstatic to get out of here!" Siobhan's face is glowing as she thinks about going home with Viv and will finally get out of this depressing hospital! Vivian walks over behind the blonde as she is zipping her luggage. She slides her arms around her waist and places a single soft kiss on her neck. "Let's get you home, Ms. Serpent..." Siobhan turns to face Vivian and gently touches her face connecting their lips briefly and whispers, "Yes, I need you to take me to bed... I'm so... tired." Finishing with a wink.

I'm so ready to be alone with Viv. We really do need to have some serious talks... but maybe the talking can wait a few hours....

Oh wow Bon is really ready to get home! I'm surprised at how she has embraced us... but we do really need to talk... I know this will be a big adjustment for her.

The women pull away from each other as the nurse comes in with the discharge papers and a wheelchair. Vivian tells Siobhan and the nurse that she is going to pull her car into the pickup lanes. As she is leaving the room, her phone pings. Autumn has sent a text, "Viv, my father is no longer there. He has left and I have confirmation that he is at the head office. Let me know if you need anything. I'm just a call away!" Vivian releases a huge sigh of relief knowing that monster won't ruin this moment at least.

Vivian drives her car into the pickup lane as she spots Siobhan being rolled out of the hospital doors. Smiling as she stops to stare at her perfect blonde. Thinking to herself, "I can't believe she is mine!" Siobhan's face turns a soft shade of red seeing the way Vivian is looking at her. No one has ever looked at her with such gentleness and love. Thinking to herself, "I never thought I would be loved like this."

The entire nursing staff had been buzzing about the sweet couple. Honestly not sure if they were officially a couple or not, but they were all rooting for them. Of course, they knew why Siobhan was in the hospital. Many of them had been there the night Siobhan was pushed down the stairs. And again when Vivian brought her in after rescuing her, ten days ago. They had seen the tragedy, but also witnessed the captivating love between Vivian and Siobhan. So once the nurse helped Siobhan get settled in the car, she walked over to Vivian and teasingly said, "keep us updated on your epic love story!" Vivian erupted in laughter as she shook her head, " I will! Bye Tabby... see you when I come back to work next week."

Vivian gets in the car, lays her head back as she sighs. Turning her attention to Siobhan, she smiles saying, "Ready?" The younger woman's face lights up as she says, "let's go home."

Siobhan has missed being able to enjoy the outdoors. It's not something she expected, but, as Vivian drove them home, her eyes were taking every little thing in. The bright baby blue sky with wispy clouds as if they were created by soft brush strokes. Fire-colored leaves covering the forest of trees before them. She had a new appreciation for the beauty of nature, knowing she almost never got the chance to truly enjoy it.

So many things that I missed before when I was with Roger. I never even recognized the beauty... didn't even know what I was missing out on... I'm glad I have the chance to experience life the way I should have been all along.

Vivian was focused on driving, but every once in a while she glanced over admiring the pure joy radiating from her love.

She is so happy! Taking in every little thing and loving it! It makes me happy to be the one to help her feel this freedom and joy. I just hope it can stay this way...

Siobhan had been in a stuffy, sterilized hospital room for over a week. She let the window down slightly feeling the cold wind hitting her face. The crisp scent of the season filling her nostrils. This is life, this is freedom.

They arrive at Vivian's house as Siobhan swiftly exits the car and immediately begins spinning as she looks up at the sky. Vivian steps out of the car resting her arm on the hood captivated by her wonderful woman experiencing life, seemingly for the first time. She giggles as she walks around to stand in front of Siobhan. She stops spinning looking down at Viv with the biggest smile she has ever seen on that beautiful face. Vivian can't help but lean in and kiss her. Both women are overcome with a sensation they haven't experienced before, not even with each other yet. Pulling away, they rest in silence briefly before walking hand in hand through the front door.

Neither woman had breakfast yet, so they go straight to the kitchen. Vivian and Siobhan look at what ingredients are available. They look at each other saying "pancakes!" Then burst into laughter at their shared breakfast craving. Side by side they work together as if they had cooked together for years! Siobhan thinks back to the time she imagined making breakfast for Viv and it's even better than she ever imagined.

They finished cooking breakfast and sat down at the table together. Vivian broke the silence as she said, "My mom is going to keep Jamie for a few days, maybe a week, so we can get you settled. Also so I can focus on taking care of you while you heal up fully." Siobhan was relieved by this because she wasn't sure she was ready to jump straight into the introduction to Jamie. She is worried that he might not like her and she didn't want to think about what would follow.

I have time to figure out how to actually interact with a toddler. I mean covering lunch time at the nursery really only meant maybe an hour in the rooms. Living with a toddler... I'm just worried I won't be good enough.

Vivian noticed the shift in Siobhan's mood and asks, "Baby, what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours?" Siobhan knew she could be honest, "Viv, I'm terrified Jamie won't like me and then... I might lose...you." Vivian walks over to Siobhan, standing behind her, she wraps her arms around her neck crossing her forearms at her chest. Leaning in closer to Siobhan she says, "Well darling, for one, he already showed he is fond of you at the nursery. Two, he is my son and has my genes, so with how I love you, I can't imagine he wouldn't. And also, you are amazing Siobhan and full of surprises, you have nothing to worry about." A smile slowly spreads across Siobhan's face while Vivian kisses her on the cheek.

"Well, I'm honestly exhausted— fancy a nap?" Siobhan stands turning to face Vivian seeing her flash a wink. "I'm pretty tired as well. Where can I nap?" Vivian grabs her hand and leads her up the stairs to her bedroom. "I was thinking... you know... since we won't have any interruptions..." They both giggle as they enter Viv's bedroom closing the door behind them.

As the two are lost in their own little love bubble, the raging waters among them are blissfully out of mind...