Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 29: Knightmare

Vivian's senses seem heightened, yet dulled. Every sound reaches her as if through a tunnel, creating a chaotic swirl of children laughing, birds chirping, and unfiltered noise in her mind.

As I walk in the nursery to drop off Jamie, Charlotte's face fades from her sweet smile to deep concern. "Viv, what's wrong?"

I quickly give Jamie a hug as I tell her that everything is fine and I turn to leave. I know I spoke to Siobhan on the phone, but I'm desperate to get to her. Truly see with my own eyes and feel with my own hands that she is okay.

Vivian's eyes are filled with emotion. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but she seems to be a million miles away. She isn't present in the moment that's for sure.

Something has Vivian freaked out and I need her to know she isn't alone. I call out for Sorscha to cover me for a few minutes as I rush out to catch up to Vivian. I don't think my voice breaks through her haze as I call out to her. I catch up to her and gently grab her wrist. "Viv, don't brush this off. Look at me. You're scaring me right now—what's happening?"

Vivian allows herself to relax and nearly loses the strength to stand. "Everything really is okay... I think... I don't know. I had an awful nightmare, but it's almost as if I still can't separate the dream and reality. I just need to see Siobhan. I need to physically see her and know she is alive." Charlotte's eyes immediately shoot wide open, "did Roger hurt..." Vivian places her hand on Charlotte's shoulder, "I had a dream that Roger killed Siobhan. I know that it was just a dream, but my mind, body and heart haven't synced. I just have to get to my baby." Charlotte reaches out pulling Vivian into a quick embraces. "I'm so sorry. Go to her. And please, take care."

Vivian pulls in and parks. Her eyes are fixed ahead, only thought is reaching Siobhan. She doesn't notice the figure approaching until she's already fallen.

I don't even remember my drive here, but I'm almost to her. I need to hold her in my arms. I need to hear her heart beating... Ouch... what was that?!

Her vision sharpens, snapping her into focus, and she sees Roger's icy blue eyes glaring down at her. "Well... Vivian... I've been waiting to bump into you. The woman that has apparently stolen MY fiancé." Vivian stands brushing herself off. "What do you want, Roger?" A smirk spreads across his face, "Just a reminder of the power I hold. I always get what I want. And I think we both know what that means. See you later, Vivian."

Vivian feels a shiver through her body hearing those words. Her mind flashes back to her dream. She shakes her head snapping out of her thoughts and rushes herself into the hospital. Trying her best to conceal the frantic feeling consuming her, she navigates the sterile hospital halls.

Time all but stops when she reaches Siobhan's room. Opening the door she sees an empty bed and her breathe catches in her throat.

Where is she? No no no... this isn't right! She was safe! Autumn was supposed to be here!

Suddenly, the bathroom door in the room swings open. Vivian's heart races, her hands trembling as she pulls Siobhan into a desperate embrace. "Woah, Viv, what's going on?" The blonde softly cups her hands to Vivian's cheeks. "Bon, it felt so real. The blood, your heart stopping..." Siobhan's eyes slowly shut as the realization hit her. Everything was starting to make sense.

"I'm here, Viv. I'm okay, sunshine." She pulls Vivian closer and lays her head on her chest, calmly running her hand over her hair. Her voice becoming even softer "Listen—you hear my heart is beating. Do you feel the vibration of my voice? My chest moving up and down from my breathing... this is real... I'm here. I'm safe."

Vivian's heartbeat begins to slow, her breathing steadying. She pulls away just enough to meet Siobhan's gaze, planting a soft kiss on her lips and taking a deep breath as she breaks contact.

"Is everything okay?" Autumn asks as she returns with Siobhan's coffee. She could see Vivian was distraught, but had no idea why. "Yes, Autumn. Everything is fine. Vivian just had..." Vivian wiped her eyes and finished Siobhan's reply, "I just had a very disturbing dream... couldn't really tell what was real and what wasn't..." Vivian's eyes darted to the floor as she rubbed her hands together. Autumn gives a single nod. She knew better than anyone how real dreams, especially knightmares, could seem.

Autumn walks over with Siobhan's coffee and asks Vivian if she could talk to her for a moment in the hallway. Siobhan walks over to her bed continuing to pack up her belongings. Autumn reassures Siobhan, "We will be right back, everything is okay."

Autumn softly shuts the door, taking in a deep breath, not sure she wants the answer to the question she is about to ask. "What else happened Vivian? You are hiding something from Siobhan. Why?" Vivian's eyes looked through the window of the room at her sweet Bon Bon. Her eye sight blurred as tears filled them. "I ran into Roger in the car park. His threatening words were almost the same as what he said in my dream." Autumn's face flushed with anger. "You probably noticed things subconsciously and the only way your brain could process it was through your dream. We are going to have to let everyone else know about this. Just not Siobhan... let her be happy, if only for now."