Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 23: Is Mia Alive?

I look at the ominous double doors and see Mia's surgeon burst through them. His eyes scan the room, and when they meet mine, I feel a pit grow in my stomach as his shoulders slump ever so slightly. I see his chest expand seemingly taking a very deep breath. What does... does this mean?! Mia please be okay. I don't want to do life without you... I can't!

The surgeon approaches Charlotte while Marjorie and Autumn surround her. Autumn locks her arm with Charlotte's and Marjorie rubs her back softly. "Charlotte, I hate to tell you this, but..." The frail brunette loses her breath as her legs begin to weaken. Marjorie's eyes welling up with tears. Autumn bracing herself to hold Charlotte up or at least help her to the ground so she doesn't get hurt.

"We were almost done with the repair," he began, pausing to collect his thoughts. "It was going smoothly... but then... we couldn't get the lung to inflate properly." Autumn abruptly spoke up, "Is Mia alive?" Time seemed to stand still as the three women awaited his response.

Please... say yes... my heart hurts... my vision is pulsating with my racing heart... Mia is my everything. Ahhh...

"Yes! I'm so sorry! Yes, she is still alive."

Relief fills my body. The tension releases quickly and I feel as if I'm going to faint. He should have led with that...

Autumn quickly slid her arm under Charlotte's shoulders, guiding her to a chair before her legs could give way. The surgeon slowly sat in the chair next to Charlotte as Marjorie knelt down beside her, hand on her knee comforting her. Autumn opted to stand behind the chair resting her hands on Charlotte's shoulders.

As I stand behind Charlotte, I feel overwhelmed with sadness. Mia really is like a sister, even if we aren't as close now as we were then. I can feel my eyes begin to burn and I look over to my love, my Winter. He can always comfort me... even from across a room. Just knowing he is there, I can breathe easier.

"I believe she suffered a pulmonary embolism. Along with the things I mentioned already, her blood pressure plummeted. We immediately administered Heparin to break up the clot. She has stabilized and now getting a CT so we can see what is going on. I have to get back, but I needed to update you."

As the surgeon walks away, Marjorie engulfs Charlotte in a loving embrace. "Char, she is okay darling! I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, but she is going to make it." Charlotte finally let go of the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Marjorie's embrace shattered the last of her resolve, and the sobs she'd held back all this time came pouring out. "Thank you Marjorie. She is my world! She has to be okay."

Meanwhile, in another wing of the hospital, Siobhan lay quietly in her room, unaware of the updates about Mia. Renee peaks into the room, "Viv, could I speak to you for a moment?" Vivian eyebrows knitted as she walked out the door to speak with Renee. "What's going on, Renee?" She hesitates a moment, starting, stopping, then starting again, "It's Mia. She has most likely had a PE during her surgery."

Shit! I mean I guess she was in the right place to have one, but that's no joke!

"Did they follow protocol? Treated her immediately?" Vivian asked quickly her face looking as if her blood drained from it. Noticing her beautiful black-haired woman's reaction, Siobhan began to worry. When Vivian walked back in to Siobhan, her voice calm and soft, "I need to tell you something... Mia... she was in an accident and has had some significant complications. She is alive. She should be okay, but her condition can change quickly."

Siobhan's chest tightened, and for a moment, she struggled to breathe. The room seemed to close in around her as the weight of her decisions crashed down, heavy and unrelenting.

Mia, what were you thinking? Why didn't you just get in the car and let Autumn and Reece handle it! This is all my fault! I shouldn't have called for help. If she dies because of me, I... I...

Vivian knew Siobhan well. She could see the pain in her eyes, and her heart ached to reach her. Gently, she placed her hand on Siobhan's cheek, her voice a soft whisper. "Baby... talk to me. What are you feeling right now?" The hurting blonde just sobs, "This is all my fault Vivian!" Siobhan's voice broke as she collapsed into Vivian's arms, her body trembling with each sob. "I should have just let Roger kill me tonight. Now Mia is in serious condition and no telling the danger you all are in because you helped me. Why?!"

Silent tears streamed down Vivian's face at the sound of her love's heartbreak. "Siobhan, this is nobody's fault except for Roger. We were all meeting tonight to come up with a plan to help you. We wanted to help you baby. Before you called, we were writing out a plan to get you out!" Siobhan raised her gaze to her Viv, "You were?" Her sobs turning to sniffles. "Yes Bon, you are important to us. You are everything to me. You matter! If you died tonight... but you didn't. You are alive and I'm going to spend my life showing you what real love is!"

Vivian gazed intently into Siobhan's shimmering grey eyes, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. She pulls her close and presses her lips softly against Siobhan's lips.

All the guilt washes out of my body as the warmth and love from Vivian fills it. My heart all but stops and the hospital sounds disappear...

As the warmth and love from Vivian enveloped her, Siobhan felt the tension start to fade, a small flicker of hope igniting within her. For the first time in what felt like forever, she dared to believe that maybe—just maybe—she could find a way through this darkness.