Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 5: Bon Bon

A/N This chapter is linked along with the previous chapter somewhat happening simultaneously. It's also much shorter!

I get nervous when Vivian starts to pull up my shirt and begins softly touching my skin, it's that warm, comforting feeling again. Why am I feeling this way? I don't experience this when anyone else touches me. I guess this is what it feels like when someone really cares about you. I know Roger cares for me too, but he doesn't make me feel like this.

I just want her to feel safe and to be safe, away from Roger. I start to check over her and I call her Bon Bon, not even realizing it until I see her begin to blush. It makes my heart skip a beat and butterflies in my stomach. She really is quite an attractive woman. Stop it Vivian, you shouldn't be thinking of her that way, she is going through something horrible and is in a vulnerable state. You have to switch back to nurse mode so you don't over step.

***Marjorie enters***

Siobhan looks up and sees Marjorie standing at the door with her mouth wide open, eyes wide as her hand falls off the door handle to her side. Siobhan's body froze as her thoughts were racing through what conclusions Majorie might be making at this moment.

I feel my eyes widen as all the anxious thoughts come flooding through. Did Marjorie see the bruise and wonder what happened? Did Marjorie miss the bruise and just think Vivian was filling me up? How am I going to explain this situation without telling her about my injury? I know Marjorie will find it concerning and I can't tell her what Roger has been doing to me.

Siobhan knows that her and Marjorie don't get along, but Marjorie really does have a heart of gold and doesn't want to see anyone in real pain.

Marjorie rambles on about some paperwork she needs help with and leaves. Trying to dial down the tension in the room, Vivian begins to tell Siobhan that it seems she is healing well. As she looks at Siobhan, she sees the terror in her eyes and her frozen posture. When Vivian asks Siobhan if she is okay, Siobhan stands and begins to lash out in fear, but it comes across as anger. Vivian is surprised when Siobhan starts raising her voice and begins to pace in the room. She is surprised, but also understands the vulnerability Siobhan must be feeling at this moment. As Siobhan starts to leave Vivian calls for her softly and extends her arms to offer her comfort. Siobhan turns and hesitantly walks to Vivian seeking the comfort only she seems to be able to give.

It hurts me to see the pain and mental torture Siobhan is going through. I'm so thankful she is letting me hold her and comfort her. I can feel the tension in her body begin to break as she pushes deeper into me. If I could take all the pain of this journey ahead of her away I would! I think she is coming to the realization that she can't keep living like this.

Why did I lash out like that at Viv? I start walking to the door to leave, but I hear Viv call me and as I turn she is holding her arms out to me. I feel so confused and torn, but she brings me so much comfort to me and I have never felt that before. I slowly walk over to her and just melt into her as she closes her arms around me. I feel like a weight just falls to the ground as I lay my head on her chest.